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Kitten's blog: "The "US" thing"

created on 03/24/2007  |  http://fubar.com/the-us-thing/b67685
By now you know what I'm going to say: WHO CARES?! But for those of you who are just dying to know: is he as miserable as you are? Does he miss you? What is he doing? Who is he doing it with? What is he wearing? Does he want to get back together? What are his friends telling him? Is he hooking up with his ex? These are the thoughts that plague you when you can't sleep, can't work, when your falling asleep at work, and when your working at not sleeping. I understand that before you can fully get over it, you may need to indulge yourself with a little "what's he going through" obsession. Here's what you want to hear: "the only reason he hasn't called you is because debilitating sadness has left him lying on the floor of his apartment in a pizza box full of tears. The only activity he has been able to manage is feverishly planning a way to win your heart back. He's sworn off women (except you), booze, and fun because nothings fun without you. He may never smile or laugh again." The only true thing is this paragraph is nothings fun without you--but even that isn't true for him, because he's going on with his life. I know you want him to be pining over you and unable to make it through the day. In a perfect world he's tormenting himself, wondering how he could have made such a mistake, and remembering all the good times you had together. He's barely managing to feed himself and get to work on time, and he couldn't possibly be entertaining the ides of going out or seeing someone new. He should be mourning too, right? Here's the straight poop. If you have been in a breakup, the pain is fresh, awful and unbearable at times. The rug has just been pulled out from under you, and your world has been turned upside down. All those plans you had are gone. Over. Just like that. But the even suckier part is that whoever did the dumping has a huge head start on the healing. However long he entertained ending the relationship is also how long he's been emotionally extracting himself from you. So while your wounds are fresh and ugly, your ex had the advantage of not only being in the power position, but also having had a chance to wean himself off of you emotionally while you have to go cold turkey. Its a harsh reality, but the truth is that he was already partially or even totally over it before you even knew it was going down. And even if you've even been the one to instigate the breakup, then you have a pretty good idea of what he's going through right now. Yes, breaking up with someone sucks. Yes, you do feel badly about hurting someone's feelings. But the fact of the matter is once you get past the initial guilt, the overwhelming feeling is relief. So if you want to know what he's thinking its probably this: he feels bad hurting your feelings, he misses you sometimes and even thinks of calling but ultimately he's relieved that its over. *Its Called A Breakup Because Its Broken* kitten =^..^=
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