You'd think it was a good thing when the mailman knows your name
But only the unemployed can make such a claim
Where's my check, I have no check, I'm eating noodle broth
When I go out in public I feel like a sloth
My assets include a couch and an aquarium
My neighbor is rich, if I was gay I'd marry him
I might be better off in a good sanitarium
I found my enlistment papers where a bunch of my crap fell
But then I decided I don't do so good with shrapnel
Got high and melted pencils, ended up with a lead mess
I guess that's better than waking up headless
It's just about 3 so it's time to watch Matlock
Then I'll curl up in a fetal and close the door with a padlock
Danny Schreiser
