I ran out of Cymbalta (antidepressant) a little over a week ago, and yet I've been feeling better without it. I'm on Zoloft, Lithium, and Xanax though, and Zoloft acts as an antidepressant. Now I can't remember why I was placed on Cymbalta in the first place. The Xanax helps with my Anxiety problem. Being "bipolar" (supposedly), I'm also on Lithium as the mood stabilizer. It doesn't do much for depression, but it's supposed to keep my moods from getting too manic (and manic does not mean "happy".) In fact, most of my manic episodes have been what is known as "dysphoric" feeling a lot of irritability and rage. The problem with Lithium is that it is a very old drug and can cause many problems, especially with the kidneys. i have to keep it monitored, despite the fact i have no insurance and the tests will probably cost at least $200 out of pocket.
My grandmother annoys me with her constant worrying over my money problems, despite the fact that I have not yet gone under $200 in my bank account. I definitely need a better job, but good jobs require college degrees and to get into college you need money which most people don't have so they take out loans which I would have to do, but I already have a couple thousand dollars in loans that I owe in the first place. I'm not really worried.....tons of people take many years to pay off student loans but she's driving me nuts.
I keep wondering if I should really move back with parents for awhile (in Kansas). I would be much happier there then I would here, despite the problems I've had in the past with my mother's drinking. I know she's cut down quite a bit on that. Now I have another alcoholic to deal with in my family: my grandmother. It's not really my responsibility to take care of her though. There are plenty of other family members around if and when I decide to leave. I've got to start doing what's best for me and stop worrying about what others think.
