Ya know some things will NEVER fail to amaze me! It's been one of those up and down days... Found out some family things that made sense, or rather made A LOT of sense but at the same time just boggled my mind because of whom it came from.
See My great uncle is in the hospital, no surprise he's beginning to suffer from the exact thing that most of my family has died from. Let me tell you I swear the hospital must dread my family getting sick! LOL can you POWER STRUGGLE! The siblings posturing over who has the final say, fighting as to whether moving out of the state makes you in some form less "entitled" yadda, yadda, yadda (oh yea it's a BLAST!!!!! regular good old fashioned family "bonding") and the poor hospital staff are tossed into the middle while the attempt to do their jobs! I swear it's just a big game of whoever draws the short stick gets rounds during visiting hours. Me, I just stay out of it! But this time I had company in the form of my aunt... Or rather a woman who I always thought or at least for the last 27 years thought was my aunt...... I mean that is what a woman married to your great uncle is... Right???
Anyways!
So we sat in the waiting room, and I'm not really sure if it was the stress of the whole situation or what, but for those 2 hours, she was an open book! See I always thought she was his wife, mainly because I was never told different. But in reality she's just his life partner (God I say just like it's some small thing, I mean they've only lived with, loved and cared for one another for the last 29 years...). The problem you see is my dear uncle never divorced his first wife, who is also the mother of his 2 children, and apparently it was always a known fact that he wasn't going to. It never was a problem, they were happy, well off, and they loved each other sooo I guess it was just never an issue. BUT now it is. Colleen even after 29 years is very much so an outsider. She has no rights to his care, last rights and so on and so forth in the state of NY, but rather my uncle's first and only wife does. Here's the kicker she's been dead for 8 years......... SOOO the children by proxy hold all the cards. Am I the only one who sees a problem with this whole picture?????
OK onto the good stuff! Well while Colleen and I sat there, ya know we were bored so we talked. She asked how things were with my life and I told her, they are good... FINALLY!!! I mean it's only taken 12 years!!!!! 'Bout damn time I got shit right! She asked how things were on the relationship front, to which I replied complicated, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. Of course that then led into a mild soft handed explanation. And then she hit me with "I understand". See she's lived it, in one form or another for the last 29 years. And she plans on continuing to live it right up till the end! She loves my uncle and he loves her... From what I understand, his relationship with her wasn't always easy, his wife cheated on him, developed a mental condition and my uncle decided that it was just better and more stable for their children that he not dissolve the marriage. And even though as his kids grew into adults he still stuck to his decision... He met Colleen on a fishing cruise in Ontario his kids sent him on for his 50th birthday. I guess she was up visiting family or friends of something, and they met. They courted for about 5 years and then after lengthly talks with the respective children they moved in together and have since been my uncle Louie and aunt Colleen. It blew me away to have a grown 72 year old woman telling me that she loves my 81 year old uncle more than life itself, has lived the better part of the 30 years with him and isn't his wife........
As she was getting up to go and eat lunch with the love of her life, and face his grown ass children who are now acting like spoiled adolescents, she put her hand on my shoulder and told me that she's learned the best and truest love is that which is blind to past, ignorant of the future and sometimes absurdly trusting that yesterday and tomorrow won't matter. I just looked at her, I must have just had this dumb ass look on my face, cuz she laughed and asked me if I had heard of absentee parents... I of course said yes, and as she was walking back towards his room she said that she'd be damned if those 2 absentee children and their spouses, made the last few months or if God willing years of my uncle's and her otherwise perfect relationship hell over family politics and inheritance. I had to laugh, it's was sad that she put it as blunt as she did, BUT, I know how my family can be.
You know I got up and walked down to the surgery atrium where there's this beautiful fountain and I just kinda stood there staring at the water..... My mom came to find me and have me come up to say bye to everyone before we left. I walked in the room and there sat my uncle and my AUNT eating lunch together, and in the corner stood my cousins fuming over something... Mom hugged my uncle and as she hugged Colleen I heard her say PLEASE for the love of all that is holy once he is released get your affairs in order! Do NOT leave it in the hands of Jonny and Deb! My uncle pipped up in a tone that I can only describe as a-typical of the men in my family lol and says "Judi it will be handled!" I handed out my hugs and as I was walking out the door I looked at Colleen and just simply asked "was it worth it?" you know she just looked at me, smiled and said every minute!
Now I'm home, just relaxing... I'm studying for the bartending test at Outback, and I come to log on here and check my email, and there sits the ONE I've been hoping for ALL day. It was short maybe 8 words.... That's all I needed. I had chills,my body went numb and the tears came, but that only lasted about as long as it took to read the damn thing. It wasn't anything bad, more of relief than anything.
Ya know love is bitch and I really think that half the time she's on the rag LOL!!! It doesn't come with rules, ya kinda gotta make them up as you go along... but I have believe that, there's some reason behind why you love who you love... And that yea sure you may have to "hold try outs" before you find that one...... And even after you do, I think ya still can't fully grasp the "this is it" feeling. So you find yourself in a situation with a person whom I like to affectionately call the "second round draft pick" LOL (C 'MON football season is here and besides I like my analogy DAMMIT!) trying to duplicate what you had already found, but then you realize there can only one JaMarcus Russell!
I dunno I think to damn much! BUT thinking is a necessary part of life! Because if we didn't think we could grow!
