Aussi52's blog: "Dont Fuck With Granny"

Subject: Fw: Ireland declares war on France! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Jacques Chirac, the French President, is sitting in his >>office when his telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily >>accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County >>Mayo, Ireland. I am ringing you to inform you that we are >>officially declaring war on you and your country." >> >> >> >> "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important >>news! How big is your army?" >> >> >> >> "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, >>"there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next-door neighbor Seamus, and >>the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!" >> >> >> >> Chirac paused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have >>100,000 men in my army, waiting to move on my command." >> >> >> >> "Begoora!" says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." >> >> >> >> Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again, "Mr. Chirac, >>the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry >>equipment!" >> >> >> >> "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asks. >>"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm >>tractor." >> >> >> >> Chirac sighs, amused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have >>6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have >>increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke." "Saints >>preserve us!" says Paddy, "I'll have to get back to you." >> >> >> >> Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, >>the war's still on! We've managed to get ourselves airborne. We've >>modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns >>in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us, >>as well!" >> >> >> >> Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his >>throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 >>fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, >>surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have >>increased my army to 200,000!" >> >> >> >> "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I'll have to ring >>you back." >> >> >> >> Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the >>mornin', Mr. Chirac, I'm sorry to inform you that we've had to call >>off the war." >> >> >> >> "Really? I'm sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the >>sudden change of heart?" >> >> >> >> "Well," says Paddy, "We had a long chat over a few pints >>of Guinness, and decided there's no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 >>prisoners!!!!!!!