There once lived a girl in the forest
There once lived a girl in the forest
whos morals where quite the lowest
Robins men were not merry
till they met this sweet fairy
and that’s why it’s called Sure-wood Forest!
There once was a lass from Kildare
There once was a lass from Kildare
With lovely long golden hair;
She cut off her tresses
To buy some new dresses
To wear to the Kildare Spring fair!
There was a young lady of Fashion
There was a young lady of Fashion
Who had oodles and oodles of passion.
To her lover she said,
As they climbed into bed,
Here’s one thing the government can’t ration!
There was a young lady one fall
There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.
There once was a lady, Ilene
There once was a lady, Ilene,
Who lived on distilled kerosene,
But she started absorbin’
A new hydrocarbon
and since then she’d never benzene
A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed
