Over 16,535,532 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

alone??

the day is over , we all wine down the bubbles in the fish tank, the only sound kids in bed,a couple hours ago tv off, after my show laying here thinking just was i have done to sit alone, be the only one looking bak at all the chaos in just one day i turn over to listen BUT wat does air have to say it says alot in an empty space says so much makes my heart race the clicking of the furnace as it turns on reminds me of all in the day ive dun wrong the fan with its arogant spin tells me tomorrow it all happens again the flickering of the clock i have not set keeps me up to beat with the goals not accomplished yet silence speaks louder then words this is shown i realize this every night as i sit alone

ranting

I look at all the "friends" I have. I look at all the "family" I have. Then i wounder why I face my life alone. I guess I'm not really alone. I do have 4 beautiful little girls to share it with. I just can't ask them to help me resolve issues or balance bills. Dealing with them is a chore within itself. I mean they are well behaved and all. Its just they are a major responsibility. I never knew what my mother meant when she told me kids are a BIG responsibility. I mean I knew they were work BUT never knew it was like this. I have 2 that take medication 2 times a day. ( one for ADHD and the other ODD and asthma) 1 that is on medication once a day. (for migraines) Then the other takes a prn. ( for asthma) 2 have choir that is state wide and they have rehearsal 2 times a week and have the concerts once every 2 weeks. Then the same 2 have ester class every Thursday. (training them to be christian women *cough*) The other 2 have awana every wed. (training them morals and respect the christian way *cough cough*) Then one has softball and band. Then there are sleep overs and parties and play dates. That is on top of regular Dr. visits and counseling for 2 of them. WOW there is more but tired of talking bout that. Well... To look at all that and realize I still have to work and take care of my home and ME. I do this all alone, completely alone. I am bi polar for those that don't know what that is PLEASE look at the prior posts. I have been through relationships, friendships, and have NO family. "Men" say they can handle my life and my kids and ME just to tuck tail and run. I don't expect anyone to take on my life for me. I don't expect anyone to "help" me. The only thing I truly ask is don't pretend you can when you know for a fact YOU CANT. It would take a man with ALOT of patients. He would have to be understanding and be able to tolerate my ignorance and insecurities. He would have to be COMPLETELY honest and OPEN with his feelings. In turn be able to handle my honesty and openness. My life is not hard. It is NOT chaos. It is NOT hell. Its just alot of work for ONE person. But ya know?? I am happy to do it alone. BC every person I have let into my life has brought more hurt and pain then we deserve. I do love, care, want , need, and deserve a man. Just afraid of the outcome. I am NOT a sex toy. (well maybe but NOT just that) I have feelings and strong emotions. I have other needs besides sex. I am not willing to settle for less then I deserve. I am not willing to just have sex with anyone BC I "need" it. I will wait for my love to eventually be here and well then he may never see light again. LMAO IF that time ever comes. I need a support system. I need someone that actually gives a damn. I need someone I can call in the middle of the night and say "HEY, I need to talk." Anyways enough ranting. OH and see I CAN SPELL. lmao This was all written BEFORE I found Frank...

feelings

things dont always happen the way we hope waiting on time to pass just to get over the pain the gain the loss never even out cant sit here while the world is passin me by and am not gonna sit and wait for things to happen my way if i am waiting for the right moment it will never come i have to make it happen for me tears roll down hurt so bad i feel it through my bones cant breath cant sleep in the end im always here alone they say they will be there forever BUT then they realize this isnt their dream i fall in love i trust i believe then my heeart is ripped out and stomped on i wish i was dun crying i wish i had NO feelings i wish i could be as cold as they say i am wen the doors are closed and the lights go out i am just as hurt just as broken just as weak as anyone i have a heart and it does feel i can count all the reasons why i shouldnt care why i shouldnt love there is sumthing in my heart that wont let me close down wont let me NOT care no matter how many times i get hurt i still fall in love and end up being destroyed yet again in the end i have given everything i have ever had to give every relationship was worth every second spent on it every heart break was worth every beat i had in love wen its time to let go it hurts so bad destroys my every nerve every will to breath my heart beat unregularly my thoughts race it all happens for a reason i wish i knew wat it was they say there is sumone out there for every one wat if MY sumone is with sumone else every time sumone wants to be there for me they are to far to hold me to distant to kiss me to caught up in their own life to truely understand waiting on time to pass just to get over the pain they never even out the loss and the gain cant sit here while my entire life just seems disapate all the fantasies my mind trys to create
I have never ever ever been in a contest B4. So, Um.... will youhelp me out. Im NOT asking for you to actually vote for me. Am asking you to vote for the BEST one out of all of them. Hoping that I AM of course BUT I'm sure there are MANY beautiful pictures there. It starts Dec 17th, 2006. THANKS alot. image.php?u=452614&i=3106463189&tn=1

Blessed Be TAFfyGurl

I knew this one also

You scored as Bisexual.

Bisexual

100%

Lesbian

80%

Gay

60%

Straight

40%

Are you Bisexual, Straight, gay/lesbian?
created with QuizFarm.com

my eyes

1139014837lightningeyes.jpg You scored as Passion. You are very passionate whether that passion is good or evil has yet to be determined. You have great power over others and they seem to flock to your service. You are very competative almost to a fault. Perhaps you should let someone else win for a change?

Passion

83%

Diamond Eyes

67%

Mysterious

58%

Eyes full of Pain

17%

What do your eyes reveal about you?(PICS!)
created with QuizFarm.com

HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You scored as Hot. You are Hot, you scream and are wild, people love doing anything sexual with you.

Hot

100%

Violent

94%

Wet

63%

Soft

56%

Exciting

50%

Awkward

13%

Shy

13%

Sweet

6%

What is your sexual style?
created with QuizFarm.com

I already knew this

1156820573tk.jpg You scored as Tickling Fetish. This is actually a fairly common fetish, that can fall under the category of bdsm. It is a special interest for tickling, or being tickled, especially when the 'Ticklee' is restrained from blocking the tickling. Sounds like fun !! 0:)...

Tickling Fetish

100%

BDSM

100%

Biting/nibbling fetish

88%

Foot Fetish

88%

What's your fetish?!
created with QuizFarm.com
What Religion is Your Bra? A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. " Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type? "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from ." Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer? Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple.. The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills. Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! (A} Almost Boobs... {B} Barely there. {C} Can't Complain! {D} Dang! {DD} Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake. {G} Get a Reduction. {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up ! Send this to all that will appreciate it! They forgot the German bra. Holtzemfromfloppen
last post
17 years ago
posts
46
views
7,758
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss

other blogs by this author

 17 years ago
Aqua Man's Blog
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 11 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0681 seconds on machine '180'.