Just suffer from depression, comes with be an artist I think, we feel things deeper, too easily. Today I stood in the dead center of DC. the center square and just looked around. Stood on a bench and felt this pulse and vibration that could kill someone if they just KNEW it was there. I saw all the power and none of the ethics, the center of art and real beauty. Saw the endless pain in milky eyes of a homeless man. As a business man in a big suit got into a flashy car and didn't even see him. Kids playing in the same streets where they will later shoot each other down. The oldest church's, and no real faith. Money and beauty, power, and empty hope. It was so real and so deep that I thought I was going to scream. I hate it when I get like this.
It breaks me. had a stranger tell me he could see the hurt and need for love in my eyes. And I looked at him and couldn't stop myself and said "these are the eyes of the youth of our world"
Love is endless and has no death. IT floats and survives into death. You can always make MORE love. And like any muscle you're heart needs to be worked to grow. But here, I am a speck of bleeding heart and endless tears that I think is never going to be able to make it better. Unfathomably faith. I still want to change the world. I want to make it better. But how can you, when you're haunted by the dead forgotten and feel bad for them. When the news breaks your heart. You mourn the soldiers and the villains at the same time?
Normally I can be blind like them all, but I am keenly aware. Too aware and I know I am not alone. But it seems so rare when everyone is looking, but no one sees. I just don't belong here. I dun know. I feel it like a pulse, a vibration the cries and screams and too many ppl are deft to the cry.
