DramaKiller2's blog: "INFORMATION"

Anorgasmia

Definition: Anorgasmia is an inability to reach orgasm and is thought to occur in about 10% of women. Anorgasmia may be either primary (the woman has never been able to reach an orgasm by any means) or secondary (an orgasm was experienced at some point in the past). It may also be global (orgasm is not experienced by any means) or situational (orgasm may be experienced in certain sexual situations but not others; for example, with manual stimulation but not with intercourse).

Some Myths Regarding Female Orgasms

There are several myths regarding orgasm. These myths can sometimes cause problems for women and their partners.

Myth:

An orgasm is always an earth-moving experience and there is something wrong with a woman if she is unable to reach orgasm.

Fact:

Some women have orgasms and don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. They do however reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm. By contrast, women who get very aroused and do not experience orgasm will sometimes feel "nervous" or "edgy" or even an aching discomfort in their pelvis.

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Myth:

"Normal" women reach orgasm through intercourse.

Fact:

Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. In the past, people thought that "mature" women had their orgasms with intercourse; you will sometimes run across an older book that has this view. However, laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.

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Myth:	Inability to reach orgasm, or anorgasmia means a woman is "frigid" or that there is something seriously wrong with her or her relationship.
Fact:	Women who were able to have orgasms in the past but can no longer do so may be suffering from a medical problem or a side effect from medication. Women who have never had an orgasm may never have learned what type and duration of stimulation they need.

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Myth:	If a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover.
Fact:	While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. That does not mean her partner should not be involved. Communication between partners is very important. It is up to the woman to inform her partner her likes and dislikes in their love making.

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Myth:	A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex. This myth seems to be more common among men than among women.
Fact:	Many women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always, have an orgasm.

 

What can you do?

Relax

It is possible to try too hard. Focus on enjoying the process, not on whether or not you will have an orgasm.

Communicate

Communicate with your partner your preferences when it comes to sex. Your partner cannot read your mind.

Encourage

If you or your partner are doing something pleasurable, encourage your mate to continue.

Enjoy

Learn to enjoy and feel comfortable with your sexuality. Your current inability to have an orgasm is not a reflection of your femininity, your psychological or emotional health. Putting yourself down just makes it that much more difficult.

Fantasize

Some women have trouble concentrating during sex. If that is the case, you may wish to fantasize, i.e., thinking about something sexual may excite you and may reduce negative emotions. If you feel that you are very close to achieving an orgasm, alternate tightening and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This may sometimes trigger a real orgasm.

Arouse

For some couples, love making ends once the man ejaculates. Often, at this point the woman is very aroused. If this is the case, you might ask your partner to continue stimulating you with his hands or his mouth once he is finished. Some women feel uncomfortable doing this, thinking that this would be selfish or that their partner would be bored. In fact, your partner may enjoy giving you pleasure. Rather than being selfish, you are giving your partner the chance to please you.

What about Vibrators?

Vibrators, either plug-in or cordless, supply more intense stimulation than can be obtained with either intercourse or manual stimulation. They can be especially helpful if you have an illness that makes it hard to reach orgasm, such as multiple sclerosis. They can be used by you or together with your partner as part of your love making.

Suggested Books

There are several good books available with "exercises" to help you reach orgasm. These usually focus on learning to have an orgasm by yourself and then, once you know the desired manner and amount of stimulation you need, you can teach your partner how to please you. It can also be helpful for your partner to read one of these books. Women of some religious faiths may sometimes feel that self-stimulation, or masturbation, is wrong. Others of the same faith feel that since the long-term goal is to improve the relationship then self-stimulation is okay in the short term.

1. For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality: by Lonnie Barbach. Written over 20 years ago by a woman who ran groups for pre-orgasmic women, this book has a lot of personal stories. Women like it because they see they are not alone and they can usually identify with one or other of the stories.
2. Becoming Orgasmic: by Julie Hieman and J. LoPiccolo. A bit more clinical than the previous book, it also has exercises to help a woman think about where she learned her ideas about sex and whether these might not be realistic.
3. The Gift of Sex: by Cliff and Joyce Penner. Written by a Christian couple, this is a very frank and helpful book, especially for women who find some of the suggestions or assumptions in "secular" books objectionable.
4. L’orgasme au féminin; Christine L’Heureux, Montréal: L’Aurore, 1979.

If none of the books or suggestions are helpful, you might consider asking for referral to a sex therapist or psychologist specializing in treating sexual difficulties.

1. The word “woman” is believed to have derived from the Middle English term wyfman, broken down simply as the wife (wyf) of man. In Old English, women were described simply as wyf, while the term man was used to describe a human person, regardless of gender.^c
2. The English word “girl” was initially used to describe a young person of either sex. It was not until the beginning of the sixteenth century that the term was used specifically to describe a female child.^c
3. The biological sign for the female sex, a circle placed on top of a small cross, is also the symbol for the planet Venus. The symbol is believed to be a stylized representation of the Roman goddess Venus’ hand mirror.^d
4. While many stars and moons are christened with female names, Venus is the only planet in our solar system given the name of a female goddess.^d

Human women have proportionately larger breasts than any other female mammal

The breasts of human women are much larger in proportion than those of other female mammals. The prominent size, while not necessary for milk production, is most likely a result of sexual selection.^a The English language originally delineated between women in different stages of life with the terms “maiden,” “mother,” and “crone.” A maiden referred to a young girl who was unmarried, a mother referred to a woman in her child-bearing years, and a crone described a post-menopausal woman.^c The average height of a woman in the U.S. is approximately 5 feet 4 inches, and the average weight is about 163 pounds. These figures vary greatly throughout the world, due to differences in nutrition and prenatal care.^a In almost every country worldwide, the life expectancy for women is higher than for men.^g While the population of males is slightly greater than females worldwide (98.6 women for every 100 men), there are roughly four million more women than men in the U.S. In the age 85-and-older category, there are more than twice as many women as men currently living in the U.S.^h The most common cause of death for American women is heart disease, which causes just over 27% of all mortalities in females. Cancer ranks just below, causing 22% of female deaths.^a Worldwide, women are nearly twice as likely to be blind or visually impaired as men. Experts attribute this difference to the greater longevity of women (leading to more age-related visual impairment) and specific eye diseases that are intrinsically more common in women such as dry eye syndrome and Fuch’s Dystrophy.^a Depression is the most common cause of disability in women, and approximately 25% of all women will experience severe depression at some point in their lives.^a Over 90% of all cases of eating disorders occur in women, and nearly seven million women in the U.S. currently suffer from anorexia nervosa or bulimia.^a Approximately one in five women worldwide reports being sexually abused before the age of 15.^a About 14 million adolescent girls become pregnant each year, with over 90% of those girls living in developing countries.^a

About 1,600 women die each day as result of pregnancy or childbirth complications

Each day 1,600 women die as result of pregnancy or childbirth complications. Nearly 99% of these deaths occur in developing nations.^a Approximately 95% of all women in the U.S. have been married at least once by the age of 55.^h Of the 154.7 million women currently living in the U.S., nearly 83 million are mothers.^h The probability of a woman giving birth to a baby girl instead of a baby boy increases significantly the nearer the mother lives to the equator. While the cause of this gender selection is unknown, scientists believe the constant sunlight hours and abundant food supply in tropical regions may favor female births.^e Approximately 5.6 million women in the U.S. reported themselves as stay-at-home moms in a 2007 census report.^h The first Mother’s Day was held on May 10, 1908, and was organized by Anna Jarvis in West Virginia and Philadelphia. As the event gained popularity throughout the country, Congress designated the second Sunday in May as a national day of recognition for mothers in 1914.^b International Women’s Day is held each year on March 8. The annual event was first observed worldwide in 1909.^h In the U.S., Congress established a national week of recognition for women’s history in 1981. This recognition, held during the second week of March, was later expanded into a full month by a congressional resolution in 1987. The month of March is now designated as National Women’s History Month.^h

The first country to grant women the right to vote in the modern era was New Zealand in 1893

According to a 2007 Census Bureau report, one-third of American women aged 25 to 29 have earned a bachelor’s or advanced college degree.^h More American women work in the education, health services, and social assistance industries than in any other industry. These three industries employ nearly one-third of all female workers.^h Women in the U.S. labor force currently earn just over 77 cents for every one dollar men earn.^h Approximately 14% of active members in the U.S. armed forces today are women. In 1950, women comprised less than 2% of the U.S. military.^h The first woman to run for U.S. president was Victoria Woodhull, who campaigned for the office in 1872 under the National Woman’s Suffrage Association. While women would not be granted the right to vote by a constitutional amendment for nearly 50 years, there were no laws prohibiting a woman from running for the chief executive position.^b The first female governor of a U.S. state was Wyoming governor Nellie Tayloe Ross, elected in 1924. Wyoming was also the first state to give women the right to vote, enacting women’s suffrage in 1869.^b The first country to grant women the right to vote in the modern era was New Zealand in 1893.^f The first woman to rule a country as an elected leader in the modern era was Sirimavo Bandaranaike of Sri Lanka, who was elected as prime minister of the island nation in 1960 and later re-elected in 1970.^f Women currently hold 17% of Congressional and Senate seats and 18% of gubernatorial positions in the U.S.^h According to an ancient Sumerian legend, the universe was created by a female, the goddess Tiamat. This role of a female creator is not unique, as the Australian Aboriginal creation myth also credits the creation of life to a woman.^d The earliest recorded female physician was Merit Ptah, a doctor in ancient Egypt who lived around 2700 B.C. Many historians believe she is the first woman recorded by name in the history of all of the sciences.^d A person’s gender is biologically determined by the sex chromosomes, one set of a human’s 23 pairs of chromosomes. Women have two X chromosomes, while men have one X and one Y chromosome.^a The world’s first novel, The Tale of Genji, was published in Japan around A.D. 1000 by female author Murasaki Shikibu.^d

 

1. In Old English, human men were referred to as wer, while the term man was used to describe humanity as a whole. During the thirteenth century, man gradually replaced wer as the term for an adult human male while also maintaining its use as an expression for the entire human species.^c
2. Worldwide, there are approximately 107 baby boys born for every 100 baby girls. Scientists believe the elevated birth rate in favor of boys may be linked to the higher mortality rates of boys in infancy and childhood.^a
3. Globally, boy babies are 25% more likely to die in infancy than girl babies.^a
4. Average height today for men in the U.S. is just over 5' 9" (175 cm) and average weight is approximately 190 pounds (86 kg). In 1960, average height for men was about 5' 8" (172 cm) and average weight was just over 166 pounds (75 kg).^e
5. Worldwide, men have a life expectancy of 64.52 years, as compared to a life expectancy of 68.76 years for women.^e
6. The most common cause of death for men in the U.S. is heart disease (the same as for women), and the average age of a first heart attack for men is just 66 years.^e
7. In the U.S., men have higher death rates for all of the 15 leading causes of death (with the exception of Alzheimer’s disease) and die more than five years younger than women.^e

The brains of adult men are about 10% larger in total size than the brains of women

The brains of adult men are about 10% larger in total size than the brains of women. Because men generally have a larger stature and more muscle mass than women, their brains require more neurons to control the body.^a Scientists have discovered than men's and women’s brains actually function somewhat differently. When focused on a task, men tend to use only one side of their brain at a time, devoting all of their attention and concentration to the task at hand. Women, on the other hand, tend to use both sides of the brain at the same time, making them more adept at "multi-tasking.”^a The word “boy” has been in recorded use since A.D. 1154 as a descriptive term for a male child. The exact etymology of the word is unclear, but it is believed to have descended from the Anglo-Saxon word boia, meaning “servant” or “farm worker.”^c Boys typically experience puberty between the ages of 12 and 14, a time in which the voice changes to its lower timbre, growth spurts occur, and the secondary sex characteristics begin to develop. Puberty for boys generally occurs later than in girls of the same age group.^e While both boys’ and girls’ voices will change during puberty, the change in a boy’s voice is dramatic, sometimes dropping a whole octave in tone. Males in other species develop a deeper voice to attract females and intimidate other males, and scientists believe the change in the male human voice evolved for the same reasons.^a The “Adam’s apple,” or laryngeal prominence in the neck, is a feature primarily unique to adult men and is a result of the growth of the larynx during puberty. The term is derived from the Biblical account of Adam eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden.^c In most cultures throughout the world, boys historically experienced a rite of passage that marked their transition into the lives of adult men. Examples of traditional rites of passage include the Bar Mitzvah in Judaism, the “vision quest” in many American Indian tribes, and circumcision rites in many African cultures.^f

Worldwide, approximately one-third of men have been circumcised

Approximately 56% of boy babies born in the U.S. are circumcised at birth, representing a decline of 20% since 1950. Worldwide, approximately one-third of men have been circumcised.^e In terms of absolute size and in proportion to overall body mass, the human penis is longer and thicker than that of any other primate.^e For approximately the first six weeks after conception, all human embryos develop as a default female child, primarily taking genetic information from the mother’s DNA. After the sixth week of development, if the embryo is male, the SRY gene on the Y chromosome will begin to produce androgens, primarily testosterone, that encourage the development of male characteristics and inhibit the further development of female characteristics.^a The biological symbol for the male sex, a circle with a small arrow protruding from it, is also the symbol for the planet Mars. The two components of the symbol are designed to represent the shield and spear of Mars, the Roman god of war.^a Boys are three to four times more likely to be diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorders than girls. While experts do not yet have a solid answer for the obvious gender discrepancy, some believe that girls with mild autism may be better able to mask their symptoms and thus go undiagnosed.^b Teenage boys are four times more likely than girls to drop out of school and represent more than 75% of the children referred to special education in the U.S.^b Boys are approximately three times more likely to be diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD) or attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) than girls are.^b While men currently represent an even 50% of the U.S. workforce, they account for 94% of all on-the-job fatalities.^d

Prior to the 1900s, male nurses vastly outnumbered female nurses in almost every country

Prior to the 1900s, male nurses were far more common than female nurses in nearly every country in the world. In current times, men now make up only 5.4% of registered nurses in the U.S. and only 13% of new nursing students in the now-female-dominated field.^d Men are nearly three times more likely than women to abuse alcohol and twice as likely to abuse recreational drugs like marijuana and cocaine.^a Higher levels of testosterone in boys and men generally cause greater levels of aggression, competition, self-assertion, and self-reliance than in women. In addition, the amygdala (the part of the brain involved in producing emotion) is typically larger in males, resulting in more aggressive, uncontrollable emotions.^a According to the U.S. Department of Justice, men are four times more likely than women to be murdered and 10 times more likely to commit murder. Both female and male offenders are more likely to target male victims.^h In nearly every country in the world, men are more than twice as likely to commit suicide than women. In some countries (such as Russia and Brazil), suicide rates among men are up to six times higher than those for women.^e The average adult male has about 50% more muscle mass and 50% less body fat than the average adult female.^a Of the more than 151 million men currently living in the U.S., approximately 64.3 million are fathers.^g The word “dad” entered the English language in the sixteenth century and is believed to have originated from the Welsh word tad, meaning father. The word “father” comes from the Old English term faeder and was first used in the 1500s.^c According to a 2008 estimate, there are approximately 140,000 stay-at-home fathers in the U.S. who are the primary caretakers for their children while their wives work outside the home.^g The first Father’s Day celebration in the U.S. was held on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington, and was conceived of by Sondra Dodd. After listening to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909, Dodd wished to have a day of recognition for her father as well. Father’s Day became a nationally celebrated holiday in 1972 when the third Sunday in June was designated by public law as a day of recognition for fathers.^g