In Loving Memory Of My Step Father
David L Baker 11 - 29-1948 to 04-07-2007
My Step Father has been ill since Novemeber of Liver Failure..We had hopsice coming in once a week to check up on him.
In March his disease just progressed more and more ...He became disoriented didn't know who people were , picked at the air , his cloths , bed sheets or anything that was near him ....He would drink a beer that wasn't in his hand and smoke a cigg that wasn't there either.
We had to watch his every move....On A Sunday night he had fallen out of bed and hit the nightstand and cut his head open and needed 7 stiches....a day before that he was down at his friends and tripped over something and fell on his face.
A few days after his fall he went down hill he wouldn't get out of bed and when he did he could hardly walk as he legs were weak ...his brain was telling his feet to move but they couldn't.
You had to help him around....For 9 days he didn't know who anyone was and never left the bed..We kept him on a mattress on the floor in the living room so we could watch him so he didn't hurt hisself...was really sad...When you thought he was looking at you he was really looking passed you ....You would try to talk to him and things that came out of his mouth you couldn't even understand.
The nurses came every other day and told us that it was just a matter of time before he made his transition to die.
My little girl was on her school vacation while all this was happening...instead of enjoying her vacation she had to experience the sad things that were going on with Grandpa.
We finally sat her down with the nurse and told her what was happening...I never heard the cry she cried out of her since she was born..her little heart was breaking ..She loved Her grandpa so much...they did everything together.
We took her to talk to a grief cousler to help prepare her for his death..She is only 6 years old.
His neices come down to see him and he perked back up ...Had dinner with us went places with us we all just had a great time with him...they stayed for 5 days.
They left on a Monday and come Tuesday he was back to the way he was before they got here...He had his last burst of energy while they were here.
We had to watch him again because he didn't know what he was doing..he started picking at just about everything...had to help him to the bathroom and help him to the porch to sit outside in his rocking chair that he did daily.
Mom was so wore out cuz she was up half the night with him.
Come Wed she went to take a nap and had me sit out in the living room with him case he woke up someone was there.....He was sleeping on the couch and his breathing wasn't that great...he stopped breathing for a few mins at a time and then a big deep breath would follow.
He woke up a few hours after mom went to lay down and started fittling with things...he tried to put his shoes on after just taking them off..he was pulling at his sweat pants as if he was trying to put them on when they were already on...He got up off the couch and walked to the recliner were he wouldn't sit still...he was so very restless...So I went and woke my mom up to tell her that he was awake..she grabbed a chair and sat down next to him as he fiddled around.
My daughter fell asleep on the floor on the mattress that was there for him ...he grabbed the blanket off her and was rolling it up in a ball and then threw it back down at her and she goes silly grandpa what are u doing and his response was why do i have to be a grandpa ..meaning he had no idea who she was..her litle heart sank.
He got up off the chair and headed to the kitchen then down the hall..Mom thought he was going to go to the bathroom but he walked back to the bedroom...she just took the sheets off the bed to wash them so that we could get him back in there.
He laid down on the bed and thats where he stayed for the next week.
Mom called the nurse and she came out and thats when we decided it was time to have a nurse come in around the clock so that mom could get some rest and jus incase something happened in the night.
The nurses came in and his apena got worse..his blood pressure was getting low and his pulse was starting to get weak..his color was also changing.
Come the following day the last person he had a conversation with was my daughter right before she went to school.....she always went into grandpas room in the morning to tell him she was leaving and to say good morning....he told her good morning and that he loved her and to have a nice day...after she left for school he went into a coma state.
Come Thursday Mom was sitting in the room with him for the day just spending the last little bit of time with him that she could ..his breathing got really shallow and she called the nurse because we thought it was time ..the nurse came out and told my mom she would have a nurse come out for the night...His color got worse.
I kept going in and out of the room to check on him .....When it was time for the shift change the midnight nurse told me that if I wanted to be in the room when the time come I better not go to bed and she told me to call my uncle and have him come back so I did.
I went back into the room and sat next to his bed holding his hand and rubbing his face telling him it was ok for him to let go that we didn't want to see him suffer anymore..that was the hardest thing ive ever had to do...he continued to fight it...the nurse called him amazing David because he was such a fighter.
His heart rate was slowing...his blood pressure was lowering and his pulse was getting weak.
Then his brother came in and his heart rate shot back up.....Though the palms of his hands were turning purple.his nail beds turning grey.
Finally went to bed at 2 am and told the nurse to come get me if anything changed.
My little girl didn't go to school Friday we kept her home on the count of the long night we had , had. She sat in the room with him the entire morning in the rocking chair ..rocking and singing.
The nurse , my mom and I were in the living room because she was talking to us on what happened after we went to bed...we had a monitor in the room so that we could hear his breathing and if it had changed...all of a sudden you heart his little voice in the room signing away...that it was a beautiful day the sun was shinning and that she would always be his punkins and he would always be her grandpa and that she knows one day he wont be here but it may not be today but its ok the sun will still shine....the 3 of us had tears in our eyes because it was so cute and sad at the same time.
She spent the remander of the day in the room with Grandpa.
Come Friday night he got worse and we all stayed at his bedside for another night holding his hand and listening to him breath...letting him know that we all loved him.
I finally had to go to sleep i couldnt keep my eyes open anymore.
At 7 am Saturday Morning April 7th the nurse knocked at my bedroom door and I jumped out of bed because I knew it had to do with him..I was afraid he was already gone....I went into his room his breathing was really hard yet his pulse was weak..she said he was nearing his death and it was only a matter of time....He had alot of congestion and there was alot of rattling coming from him..he was moaning and sighing...my little girl woke up came in the room and his blood pressure went through the roof and his pulse shot up and his heart rate was to fast...the nurse took my mom to the living room and told her that we needed to move him to the Hospice Care Center because his veins were sticking out of his neck and his forhead and it wasn't a good sign..she was afraid he was going to hemorage and she was afraid for my little girl and she didn't want the rest of us to have to experience that either...so my mom had to make that choice to move him.
I got my little girl ready to go on her easter egg hunt while they tried to calm my step father down some...i kept calling to check on him.
We came home after and waited for them to come and transport him to the care center.
My little girl was in the backyard swinging on her swings the sliding glass door was open and he heard her out there and once again his blood pressure shot back up and the nurse was getting worried...he was moaning and sighing really bad...we shut the sliding glass door so that he couldn't hear her.
Finally they were here to get him...I stayed in the room as they prepared to put him on the stretcher to take him out...the man who come to get him was rude and not a very nice person...he didn't want any help from anyone thought he was he man or something....he slid my step father off his bed onto the strecher and let his hand jerk back and slam down on the bed...all i could do was cry...i was so mad at that man for treating him the way he did.
Mom followed behind to the Care center I stayed here with the nurse to help her clean up the bedroom for my mom...Mom told me she would call when they got him settled.
The nurse gave me a hug and told me we did the right thing and that they could make him more comfortable there then he was here...that we did a great job with him for as long as we did.
I had some running around to do for my mom ...had to get stuff for our easter dinner and get the eggs for my little one to color.
I was just getting ready to go to the store to get the eggs and then head to Hospice when my Mom called to tell me that he was gone.
He passed away at 8 :05 pm peacefully with my mom by his side...I rushed up there to be with my mom I felt so bad she was there all alone she didn't want to be there when that happened.
I knelt down next to his bed he looked so peaceful more peaceful then he did while he was at home a few hours before...I rubbed his face and told him how much I loved him and for him to rest in peace and I would see him again one day.
I pulled myself together for my little girl.
Mom went and got her as she wanted to see grandpa and we thought it was best to prepare her for what she was going to see at his Funeral.
Mom carried her in and told her see Grandpa went to heaven and is sleeping now she looked at him tears coming down her little face and she said ok then mom brought her back to the play room..I sat down next to his bed and cried almost thiking it was a bad dream..mom asked me if i was ready to go and i said no ...i sat there for 15 more mins and then looked at mom and said ok im ready i didnt want to be there when he turned blue ...i gave him another kiss and said goodbye.. I didnt want to leave him there as silly as that sounds.
The hospice nurses put an angel on his shoulder and gave it to my daughter as we were leaving.
They were really good they told us to take as much time as we needed and they shut door.
The nurses we had at the house were great and kept him as comfortable as they could.
I commend them for the job that they do.
Its going to be a tough road for us but time will heal our pain.
I just wanted to share my story with you on what our family has enconunted in the past month.
May You Rest IN Peace David.
I love You !!
