JUICY luxuria's blog: "Illusions of Reality"

i was given a book for xmas called Oxymoronica: paradoxical wit and wisdom from history's greatest wordsmiths. Each day (or week) i will post a new one from the book. Most that i have skimmed i have laughed hysterically at. i hope you all enjoy too! quote 1 "I am deeply superficial" ~ava gardner how is that possible? its oxymoronica!

Hey kids, juicy back again. just wanna update you all on my life. Xmas was great. my son got the most amazing presents. im so happy he has so many people in his life that love him so much. he's so smart and funny and talented. I didnt get many presents, but thats not what christmas is about. Between saturday and monday night we went to 7 houses. WE visited family, friends, loved ones and so on. Those are the greatest gifts of all. i dont get to see alot of people untill the holidays come around so it was awesome. new years weekend started off interesting. we were up at our usual spot (jeremy and i) on friday and the owner (a very close friend) asked me to work the bar saturday night. i figured no big deal cus i've been a bartender before. so i said yes. I ended up leaving the bar saturday night with 200+ in tips. boy was i happy! it was a GREAT night. I did so well actually that the owner wants me to cover friday nights now. He said i brought in the most money out of all his bartenders! GO ME! i can open beer and make jager bombs! lol Then, sunday night we went back up to that resturaunt and entered some football pool or something. i put 20 bucks in and won my 20 back PLUS 80. happy new year to me! i've made over 300 bucks this weekend. if this is a sign to how my new year will be, its gonna be awesome. now i have money to get more tattoos. watch for me in a couple weeks! i'll have enough cash for like 10 more! lol j/k so if anyone from the south side is interested in comin out to see me dish up some delightfully yummy beers and what not, send me a message! i'll let ya know where im working HAPPY NEW YEAR CHERRIES! may it be blessed with family, friends, good health, fortune, and happiness. xoxo juicy

Friday September 15, 2006 Today was the start of my vacation. I worked till noon. Sat on a train for a while which was (of course) delayed. By the time I FINALLY got to Jerry’s I was beyond vacation mindset. We did some last minute things and packing and double-checking to see that we had everything we needed for the trip. Joe showed up to drive us to the airport. We decided to just grab a bite to eat at Midway since we were both starving. We found a little place called the Illini and had the best freakin burgers ever….and beer!!! I was LIT before we even made it to our terminal. Going through security and what not was a breeze! But keep in mind, if you’re wearing a studded belt…take it off. It will definitely set off the metal detector. In route on the plane we had a few more drinks….him 2 me 1. The flight was only just over an hour and a half long. We landed in Washington Regan National Airport and went to hunt down our luggage. As we were walking outside my brother pulled up and we hugged like we hadn’t seen each other in YEARS, tossed the bags in the trunk and drove away from hectic DC. At my brother’s condo, Susie and JP were waiting for us. JP hugged me tighter than anyone. I really missed hangin out with that handlebar mustache wearing lacrosse player. So after we all shared a few laughs and a few drinks, we hit the sack. Had to be up early to drive 3 hours to the beach. Saturday September 16, 2006 In the car we go! We all woke up early and made sure we had everything ready and the car packed to go to the beach. Libby showed up at my bros place and we waited on Tara who never seems to be on time. She was bringing coffee for Jeremy, but that didn’t stop me from almost tackling her as soon as she walked into the door. That girl and I have had so many fun outrageous experiences over the years. Its always fun when we are together. We piled into cars and headed for the shore!!! On the way we stopped for breakfast at some little country hick diner greasy spoon kinda place. There was an energy in the air from all 5 of us that I just can’t explain. As we ordered breakfast my brother made one of his many to come outrageously funny comments. The breakfast he was ordering was called a country girl.. so of course he had to say “YEAH, I’LL DO A COUNTRY GIRL†this had all of us ROLLING on the floor in hysterics. We ended up arriving at the beach a bit early (almost 3 hours before check in time) so we decided to hit up a bar. We parked near the condo and set out on foot. After a bit Jeff got antsy and ran over to the rental agency and picked up the keys. We finished our 5th round of pints and headed back too. After unpacking a little and the boys running to the store for some much needed ice and beer and jell-o…we lounged around till JP and Sprinkles arrived. We all decided to look pretty and head out to a nice dinner. After dinner we hit up a bar…don’t know the name, but I remember a waiter named Jordan who was pretty cool and we got him TOASTED! Tooooooo many kamikaze shots were consumed. Our grand total in the nights spending was over $600 Lol fun times. We all went back to the condo after last call (thank god we walked) for some more booze and fun. Sunday September 17, 2006 It’s off to the beach we go! We spent most of the morning on the beach laying around, catching waves on boogey boards, and having fun. Of course before we went to the beach we hit the local beach shop that’s EVERYWHERE in ocean city, Maryland…SUNSATIONS! I needed board shorts for surfing and jerry needed a towel. But after that it was on the sand, in the sun, watching waves. Everywhere we looked there were Harley Davidson’s driving all up and down coastal highway. It was the close of bike-week and boy were there a LOT of bikes. After a few hours of lounging in the sand we decided to go have some rum punch at Seacrets. That place is HUGE! It’s a bar turned tropical paradise. The entire place is outdoors of sorts. There is sand on the floors, palm trees everywhere, tables inside the bay. It was heaven. While Tara and I wandered around, we found a band called…..screamin broccoli. They were playin cover tunes! Tara ran to find the others and I started to rock out. After a bit there were huge balloons floating around and everyone was hitting them up to the ceiling. For a while the band took a break in-between sets and we hit the floor dancing our asses off. At some point I went to the bathroom and somehow cracked my drivers license in half cus it was in my back pocket. THAT SUCKED ASS! I didn’t let it ruin my night though. I knew I was covered since I had my state id as well. After a while there were only a few people left in the area with the band playin and my friends and I were front and center singing every song with the band and having the best time ever. By the end of the night we hopped on the drunk bus and headed back to the condo for a few more drinks and then off to sleep! Monday September 18, 2006 Up early and off to the grocery store with big brother. We bought way more food than we needed for the week, but who cares. That’s what vacations about. After we got back we all headed down to the beach for more fun in the sun!!! JP and I play fought in the water and splashed around. Jeff and Jerry joined in and it was a free for all! I was the only girl out of all 4 of us who went into the water. All of a sudden as I’m walking back to shore I see a huge conch shell. Being the big sissy girl that I am, I yell for one of the guys to come over and pick it up cus I wanted it, but I was afraid there was something alive in it. Sure enough there was a perfectly flawless conch shell with a sea snail living inside it. We took a couple of pics of it, let a few kids on the beach look at it, then put it wayyyyyyyy way way far out into the water so to ensure that no one else would take the poor guy and rob him of his home. After we soaked up all the sand and sun we could, we headed back down ASSAWOMAN drive to the condo. Ok yes its funny…and I even took a pic of the street sign. Lol. We went to an all you can eat seafood buffet and anyone who knows me REALLY well, knows that seafood gets me violently ill. I sucked it up and was a big girl. The restaurant when you walked in had a bit of a smell (to me it was horrid, to an avid fish lover, it was yum), but it was easy to get used to it. The only real time I was bothered by it was when I would go to get more regular food like mashed tatos, broccoli and prime rib and salad! Lol I was pretty limited to what I could and could not eat. After I finished eating, I went outside to have some fresh air and stayed out there for a while. I was having a loosing battle with nausea. After dinner JP and Sprinkle left to head back home. They had work in the morning. Tara and Libby came back to the condo to nap for a bit, and then headed home. It was off to a bar for us! We hopped on the bus and went down to the boardwalk and found our favorite pub PEPPERS! Its nice to know that no matter where you go in the world, you can always find a homey underground punk bar. I was home! We made friends with the bartenders and they offered up tools to carve our names into the bar. Wooo hoo! Forever I would have my name engraved in a bar! JUICY for all the world to see! We hopped on the drunk bus at last call and headed to the condo. Tuesday September 19, 2006 Icky weather sets in! We get in a few hours at the beach and then are forced inside by rain. Luckily enough, the HOOTERS across the street from our condo was having happy hour. 35 cent wings and 1.50 pints. Can’t beat that shit! After we were drunk and done hitting on the waitress we headed down to Seacrets for some more rum punch!! At Seacrets there were 2 huge private parties going on and half the place was closed off for them…sucked! My brother, Jeremy, and I all settled in at the end of a bar closest to the bay so we could watch the water and still get served quickly. As we were sitting there we noticed a guy sitting close by that blatanly stared at me. It wasn’t one of those looks that was like he was looking beyond me and trying to not be obvious. He was staring STRAIGTH at me. So Jerry and Jeff decided to place a bet as to whether he would come up to me if they walked away. So they left me to sit there alone. I finished my margarita and needed another so I got the bartenders attention…after I pay for my drink creepy mustache guy told the bartender he wanted to buy my drink. I smiled at him, but still no one on one contact. Someone was loosing a bet! LOL. After a few minutes another gentleman proceeds to sit next to me and we begin to talk. He buys me a drink and a shot and we cheers and down the hatch the alcohol goes! My bro and jerry are still close by keeping an eye out. Bar-guy gets brave and asks me to dance. Now keep in mind 1) I’m white 2) he wasn’t 3) I dance white! LoL after a few minutes of embarrassing myself I decided I needed yet another drink so back to the bar we go. Jerry and my brother catch my eye and give the nod to make sure I’m “okâ€. I laughed and walked off. By the end of the night jerry was freaking out because I didn’t have my cell and he was worried. I reassured him that I was a big girl and we all decided that we had enough rum punch and margaritas so it was back on the drunk bus to head home. Wednesday September 20, 2006 Not much exciting happened today. The three of us decided to walk the boardwalk and have gross food all day. I got up early and cooked breakfast for my boys. After sitting around for a bit we got on the bus (again) and headed to the inlet. Crews were hard at work setting up for Sunfest which would start Thursday. Along the boardwalk are TONS of stores and shops and food places and arcades. The best place in the world for french-fries is on this boardwalk. Thrashers. Omg those fries are better than anything. The owner flat out tells you no ketchup served with my fries, but there is an assortment of vinegars that you can douse your spuds with. And let me tell you…Y U M. As we walked I noticed a funky art store. The guys wandered in there for a while, but I grew impatient so I walked down to another shop. A jewelry shop. I found a few things I liked, but nothing I liked enough to buy. In the end I didn’t buy much on the boardwalk besides a new eyebrow ring and a new tongue ring. When we reached the end of the 4 mile long boardwalk, we headed back to costal highway. We stopped off in the candy kitchen to buy some yumm-o peanut butter fudge. A surf shop appeared in our vision and we headed in. We shopped for a bit and then caught the bus to Bull on the beach for dinner. Back at the condo the boys went to the water and I took a nap on the couch. I love middle of the day naps! About 9:30 or so we headed down to peppers for $1.50 import night. Yes that meant Guinness pints were only $1.50. Nothing real interesting happened besides a like 50 year old guy trying to propose to me. We got drunk…again and that was pretty much our night. On the bus ride home some really really really drunk lady started laughing at nothing at all. She sprawled out all spread eagle like and I couldn’t help but laugh at her. She is a prime example for why people should learn there alcohol intake limits. Thursday September 21, 2006 I woke up earlier than the guys and called a few places about reserving wave runners. I found a really good deal for $60 bucks an hour and reserved them for 2:00. I cleaned up around the condo for a little bit because it was starting to be a sty. After the guys woke up I cooked a huge breakfast of eggs with cheese and ham…mmmmmm and bagels and omg all I can say is that it was good. Bout 1:00 we headed to the bay to meet up with the guide who would be takin us out on the water. We got a quick lesson in the rules and it was off we go. The guide deemed me a trouble maker and said he’d keep his eye on me. I figured it was more because he thought I looked hot. Who knows! Lol So we headed out into the bay inbetween Assateague island and the actual land. On the island there are wild horses that just run around. I was tryin to see some, but they didn’t come out while we were riding around. The guide said we had free reign of this one area and to go have fun and that he’d call us over when our hour was up. I felt my need for speed kick in. I didn’t realize how fast 45 miles an hour was until that thing was moving. Wow I almost flew off it a few times. I tried to stay under 35 or 40 because any faster and gravity/g force or whatever it is kicked in and wanted me off the damn thing. As our hour concluded we headed back in our single file line to the docks. Just at the end of the island I finally saw horses! I was so excited and wanted to stare at them, but fear of crashing took over. Maybe next time. We headed back to the condo and showered up. We went out to dinner at LaFiesta or some shit like that. Damn they made some good margaritas! We roamed around a bit after the restaurant and ended up back at Bull on the Beach to hang in their bar. Jeff and I found a ping-pong table and spent quite a bit of time there. Its been way too long since I played that game. We made it a semi early night and headed home. Just as we were about to leave, we saw the crazy lady that laughed at nothing on the bus from the night before. She was now drunk again and this time wasn’t so jovial. She was kicking the crap outta her boyfriend or assumed man friend. He stood there like a brick house and took her beating because it wasn’t much of a fight. We stayed out of their path and went back to drink some more at home. Friday September 22, 2006 Today was my designated shopping day. While jerry caught some extra sleep and my brother headed to the beach, I hopped on the bus and went down costal highway to find some cute little shops. I ended up buying something like 8 shirts for Dylan and a belt for me. When I got back, my brother was back from the beach to grab water. Since the beach was less than 100 yards from our condo, it was a short trip. I got my bikini on and followed him down. It was a beautiful day to lay on the beach and soak up the sun. All in all I got very very tan and loved it. Nothing in this world is better (well, over exaggeration, but you get what I mean) than just taking a nap on the beach. We went back and started packing everything up so we could go out and get drunk one last night on the beach. We went to dinner at some random place that I cant remember and then it was time to hit the bars. We’ve exhausted all the close close bars and walked / rode the bus aimlessly to find somewhere cool. After not getting served at big peckers we went somewhere else, then some other place, and finally ended up at a roof top bar. We got lit rather quickly and decided to go back home. We played some Atari and I kicked ass at centipede. We tried to drink as much of the last of our beer as we could, but to no avail, we failed. That’s what god invented ice and coolers for! Saturday September 23, 2006 We packed up, and headed out. We said a sorrowfull goodbye to the condo that had served us well for the passed week, piled in the car, and headed to the rental office to turn in the keys. We went to some random hole in the wall diner for breakfast and watched a storm start rolling in. Instead of heading over to the horsey island we went back home. I took a long nap in the car on the way back and the boys chatted and listened to OAR. Back at the condo JP was heading out to get a haircut and already talking about where we were all going for dinner that night. CHINESE! Yum yum yum. Going to a Chinese place with Susie sprinkle and I was interesting because I’m allergic to seafood and her to meat. The food was fantastic and our boys were ½ drunk from the serious amounts of sake. Back at the condo we were hanging out watching movies picking on each other and just having fun. It was the perfect end to the trip. Sunday September 24, 2006 I was really anticipating heading to the airport because I knew later in the day I could give Dylan a huge huge hug and plaster him with kisses. We stopped at a bagel shop in Arlington, Virginia for a quick breakfast and ran into one of my brothers ex girlfriends. The last time I saw her I was pregnant. It felt good to hear her say how handsome she thought my bro was. I wanted to be rude and say something along the lines of “well you should have stayed with him!†but it wasn’t my place. So off to the airport After an almost tearful hug goodbye we walked into the terminal. I wanted so badly to not leave my brother, but all things must come to an end eventually. Our flight home was rather mundane. There was a bit of turbulence but that was all. Overall I think this was one of my best trips out east. 9 days with my best friend in the world. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m such a lucky person to have a big brother like Jeff. And that much luckier to have a boyfriend who will put up with me being out of my element on vacation like that. I have deep love for both of those amazing men. There are no two better people for me to spend time with.

so i did this stupid face regognition shit that everyone else is doing and this is what it gave me. no one taht looked like me and Jason Biggs, which i left out because its not sexi if a girl resembles some random boy.

A stirring from within Streatching for release Clawing Biting Trying to surface The demon within Begs for your pleasure Feed the beast lust Drink in her passion Lay down you kisses Upon my breast Glide your hands Stop when it gets wet Move into her warmth The beast will respond Give in to her desires Caress Drink in her soul Slide into her deeper No place else you should be Her warmth will keep you safe Let passion lead you Desire her She wont let you down She is wild and wanton Wet and warm Nourishing you Feeding your hunger side note: this kinda got me hot writing it!