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just a silly story to share...

i took a late night trip to wally world with my sister. after throwing almost everything that was near the check out line into the cart while she steadily tried to put everything up, she hit me in the head with one of her bags. luckily it was only a mother's day card and didn't do any permanent damage. but, we're laughing walking out of the store. a guy walking into the store asks how we're doing. i stop, look at him, and immediatly start laughing again, right in his face. he walks off mumbling, "well fuck you too."

she thought i was trying to get her shot in the parkin lot.

they sure can find me...

they say you can't fix stupid and boy are they right...

conversation with a guy that messaged me on the plenty of fish dating website...

keep in mind that his profile reads just like his messages. way to put yourself out there. maybe i'll post part of the profile at the bottom. just cuz it's that damn funny.

enjoy!

Subject: i kno .....

Me n u would b a very good combo

Subject: RE:i kno .....

and how do you know this?

Subject: RE:RE:i kno .....

Cuz look n the mirror ur finer thn a mother****er

Subject: RE:RE:RE:i kno .....

 really...does this work on other girls?

i read your profile. or at least tried to.

i'm not interested in a "getup" so try looking elsewhere.

and btw...it's "know" not "kno"

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:i kno .....

Nice try at talkn sh*tur not2 good at it tho stick 2 the Lil****losers who r real good spellers baby

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:i kno .....

give up the pick up lines, "cuz ur not2 good at it."

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:i kno .....

Look baby I gotta 10inch****ur Lil comments dnt offend me if u change ur mind hit me up

Subject: RE:i kno .....

 turn the ruler over. you're measuring in centimeters honey. the other side is inches.

 

ok...so maybe i'm a lil mean at times...but he deserved it. he lists his profession as a pipe layer cuz of his 10inchthick****. here's a bit of his profile. it took me awhile to read and understand what he was tryin to say.

 

Um I like2 lift weights n caress a nice body like a nice fat ass n thick thighs it helps if u gotta cute face2 I hav a very thick 10inch****n will send pic or video if ur seriously interestd in gettn2 gethr

Well must b honest im really not lookn4 nuttn serious rite now not sayn if ur cool we cant get2gethr again but basically if ur good ill prolly wana gettup again n ur not2 crazy n sh*tbut if ur not tryna gettup again 4reason n u kno u hav no need2 tell me u dnt wana gettup again a thats cool wit me but.....I bet the bank u will com back

Yeah...

NEWARK, Ohio - A 28-year-old man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool, Ohio authorities said. Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower. When asked by the dispatcher whether he hit his head inside the bar, the friend replied, "Um, no, he was riding the bar stool ... a motorized bar stool." The bar-stool rider, was hospitalized for minor injuries. Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers. He told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph. He has pleaded not guilty and has requested a jury trial.
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