Ford's blog: "Understanding Me"

Think I'm going to take a long break from this site. Maybe force myself to get back to my art. I don't know yet.. 

There's going to be hell raging here for God knows how long and I'm preparing for the worse.

For those who actually care, I will tell you what's up...

First off, I'm looking for a new place to live... Trying, anyway. 

My son's bike was stolen.. on his birthday.. It's a reminder of what a piece of shit town this is...just a small one, for there's much more to this hellhole than that..

Also, I am quite tired of coming here, pretending to be normal, when it's clear, that I am not.. not by your people's' standards, anyway..Some of you know what I'm speaking of, the others, well, I just guess you weren't worthy enough to know..:-P(y)

.. kidding.. but still..

Secondly.. CPS will probably be making my life hell for the next 3-6 months..So, means, until I move, I have to concentrate on the home.. Lots to do around here, seeing as this place is a shithole already, but I know how CPS is with men having their kids...

Why CPS?

My daughter wanted to talk of her period and why she hadn't gotten it yet.. She's 12, mind you... I explained that some get it earlier and some get it later, who knows. ... Then she had brought up her mother and MY mother, who both had theirs when they were 9... I had tried to explain in the nicest way what the doctor had told me.. That they might've started earlier, due to trauma of the vagina..Yes, molestation, both of them.. when they were very young,.. 7-9 yrs young...

My daughter apparently caught on to what I was saying.. Started bawling a bit.. Explained that her mom's boyfriend had been putting his hand down her pants, under her underwear and touching ...

Yes, I did drill her a bit, to make sure she's not saying that stuff for any other reason than it's the truth.. Kids do that, especially when their mom doesn't seem to want much to do with them.. Their mom didn't even show for my son's birthday.. No gift, no show, no card, not even a phone call, email or text message... Son was heartbroken badly..

Anyway... it's been foremost on my mind for some time now, and added with what my daughter told me, I'm pretty much fucked in the head..Pissed, sad, depressed, angry, homicidal, all at the same time.. Yeah, I mentioned things twice, I don't care..

BUT... I do know what's heading my way and what I have to do for the time being.. I am not happy...rather pissed because I know of all the petty shit these people are going to do to me and mine, when the important shit takes a back burner, as usual.. but it will get there eventually..and needs to be done, ......... hell.. it's MY daughter..