I've decided that I'm through with caring about people and letting someone in. Every time I do I get hurt and well..I'm just done. I can't do this anymore and to be perfectly honest, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be the one that is trying all the time and doing what I can to please that other person. Second guessing myself and the way I believe just to have someone like me? WTF? No more. I'm done.
I've been single for 7 years, not to say I haven't had boyfriends and things like that, but not in the past 2 years have I had a steady relationship. No I'm not going to go lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that, I just don't like cats), I'm just done with men. Wait maybe I should say boys that think they're men when in reality they're scared little kids that don't know what the hell they want.
I have a lot of male friends that always tell me it's not me it's the men I date...well isn't that a great way to make a girl feel good? LOL I know they mean well but every time I get the shaft, I always think it has to be me......there has to be something wrong with me. I never think that maybe I fall for emotionally unavailable men? That I always fall for men that need "fixed"? You know the type, men that are broken, have been hurt, traumatized or just fucked up? Yeah I attract those guys and fall for them EVERY SINGLE TIME!
So I've decided that I'm just done with trying to please someone and start pleasing me. Doing what I want to do for me and no one else. If I want to stay in bed all day? Guess what? I'm gonna stay in bed all day. If I want to cry while eating peanut butter straight out of the jar? I'll cry while eating peanut butter straight out of the jar...WHILE watching a chick flick! Take off on a road trip with my girls or by myself? Cya! Don't make my bed for a week? Hmmmmmm I'm just gonna crawl in it tonight anyway so why bother?
Yep it's time for me...and only me. Sorry you missed out on what could have been the best thing you ever had.
So to some of you men I say...grow up, the perfect girl doesn't exist. If she does, she's already taken by the perfect guy and we all know he doesn't exist.
