BeckyLeu's blog: "my thoughts or concerns."

dear GOD, JESUS,
   
                 i did my best growing my son up, and before he was 12 i think, my mom was starting to get ill with severe osteoarthritis, and my husband was also diagnosed with illnesses, so i was trying to be there for 3 people, the best i could giving attention to each one as needed the best i could, and by the time my son moved out on his own, the attention of the others was already getting more needed, my dad try`d taking care of mom the best he could to, but he would tire out, and i would get done work on fridays and stay with him and mom, to give them both some help, until i went back to work on mondays, and then though the week was with my husband, after work, who was also getting sicker and weaker, so before mom passed away, i was thinking it was a toss up whom was going to live longer, but mom did pass away first, but i knew then that my husband was also very sickly, so the work to take care of him got harder right after she passed away, he had Insulin dependent diabetes, on top of other illnesses, and needed help filling his needles, because he had bad eye site to start, and the diabetes was making it worse, and the diabetes and other illnesses were also taking toll on his liver plus he would`t stop the drinking all those years and that had damaged his liver to, and i had to see him lose more and more weight, and he did`t weigh a lot to start with, and that`s hard to see someone deteriorate right in front of you, and not anything you can do, mom went in 04, my husband went in 08, and now my dad is older to and getting weaker, he don`t live with me, and says he won`t die with me having to weight on him to, i`v been though enough of that he says, says he will go in the VA seniors place when he gets that bad, but he had been with me to help me, emotionally and foods since my husband passed, and i have my son that helps me when he can, but he works everyday, and has his own family now, and in fact is going to have child # 2 nov / dec so what he can help after that will be even more limited, and i can`t help but think, GOD "" who`s going to be with me and love and care for me.