Fuck modern science. Doppler satellite networks can't even figure out where a big-ass hurricane is going. That's pretty pathetic and all, but what really gets me is the complete lack of those cool post space-age toys we were promised as little kids. "Space-age" my ass... because the moon is so far and all...NASA chicken-shits won't put nuclear reactors in the space shuttles...
Okay, okay thanks for the iBook, my new iPod and all the other matching "iStuff" and video games. But otherwise--science, you're a big fat disappointment.
Seriously, where are all the hover-cars? The Hover-boards? Hell the hover anything? Hell what about robots? That craptastic Radio Shack radio-controlled R2D2-looking tape deck and Pepsi coaster I had when I was a little kid shold be able to cook dinner and wash the dishes by now. Sure, Honda's ASIMO robot is pretty awesome-o, but it can't even run up a flight of stairs. At this rate robots are never going to enslave humanity.
Or what about bionic limbs? Its great that Johnny Paraplegic can run his happy ass off at the Special Olympics with a set of those overgrown spring-loaded shoe horn stump-covers, but I'd bet diamonds to donuts Johnny would much rather have indestructible alloy super-legs that can hurl his gimpy carcass over tall buildings. No offense Johnny, really, it is impressive. I mean, honestly would you rather sport some lame hook, or a shiny new robo-arm that can juggle Volvos and shoot laser beams?
