LifesFav Bad Example's blog: "General Ramblings (so I don't have to create a new title every time)"

 This past friday my neice re-did her vows AGAIN. She got married in haste as my father inlaw was on his death bed then moved to Colorado and had her husbands family on the west coast come to that. This time around lil miss needy and damaged had the re-do ceremony for her side of that union. Touting all kinds of traditional happenings for this event I was supposed to have been the 1 to give her away, being the oldest male left in the family next to her younger brother, but there are issues as with every one elses families. She hasn't spoken civilly to me in about 4 years. She had a nasty motorcycle accident 6yrs ago and hasn't been the same since and has had her mother eho despises me and my wife (her sister) whispering in her ear about how rotten we are are and we turned our backs on the family and would never agree to take part in .... and and and.

  Needless to say, things get tense when you don't have all the facts or open lines of communication and get only made up stories from venom spewing harpys with jealousy issues who can't keep a partner for more than 3 weeks. Boy does sister inlaw have to keep stock in WD40 just to lube up the turnstyle to her bedroom ... and she wonders how she contracted both syphilis AND gonorrhea. Not making it up out of spite but tis ture fact. So she has been WAAAAAY out of the normal means of reality for years now and getting worse as her health deteriorates, but why would she poison her own daughter's mind against the kids favorite aunt and uncle? Is it because they've been together for so long? Everyone relys on them to come and pick up the pieces when they make a mess out of their situations? Even though they barely have 2 nickles to rub together they some how come through and bail out others in need when she makes triple their household income but can't keep a roof over her own head? for 6 months? Who knows what is going on in the twisted mind of that creature but I do know its made bad feelings between her kids and my household.

  Back to Bridezilla though. With all thats gone on tween the 2 houses miss Bridezilla kept going farther over the deep end so she formally announced I wasn't going to walk her down the aisle as she couldn't get ahold of me to confirm it. All she had to do was pick up a phone or do the email thing but what ever, her brother came back to town on special leave from the service before deployment to give her away. Personally THAT will last longer as a happy moment for her than anything , so that was woth it.  On the re-affirmation day Karma stepped up in a huge way.The days events started off with the limo reservation getting mixed up for a different week then calling another company that had 1 available and it breaking down wit hthe female half of the bridal party on the way to meet up with the men on the way to the chaple. So thats off to a stellar start already.  Then the groom is at the chaple and he is informed that the paperwork is incorrect for the catering hall and they are short about $500 and will not be served unless its paid in advance (a mere 6 hours away) and the decotaters are there already to set things up ,so people are scrambling to make Bridezilla's day better as its unraveling  and the continues. After paying big money forgetting the bridesmaid's and flower gil's hair done up all pretty they photographer decides outside pics would be great ... someone should have informed mother nature of the plan ahead of time then the wid gusts wouldn't have wrecked all the hard work the stylist put into their hair ...  Jackets and skirts lifting hair getting dissheveled ... what else could go wrong for  the lil princess with the alienating attitude problem     ...  their son , all of 3yo didn't want to go with the program and be part of the procession, the door opened as they'd practiced and he was to wear a lil sign around his neck saying hey Daddy ... here comes mommy. BUt when he saw all the people in the room he flipped the sign off n threw it saying nooo , not go. and it took bride's mom to lurethe 3ya down the aisle with a bag of reese's pieces to get things rolling again. Bridezilla almost choked when after all the stress and demands she'd put on both sides of the family and she saw those she'd irritated were sitting on the groom's side and her's was almost empty (which made his parents wonder wh o the hell we all were , until I explained it to him and we all got thanked for the gesture)  Black sheep UNITE .

   I couldn't stop laughing at how much of a mess things were turning out to be as it went along but also felt bad for miss Bridezilla. At one time she couldn't be torn away from us. She was sorta our practice kid, when me and her aunt were in the dating stage she was in our care alot, so much that when we took baby girl out she slipped up and called us mom and dadin restaurants and other places we took her. And as things in the previous paragraph all came out to be known I did start feeling for the kid. Seeing the lil girl   we used to know surface to the top and push the Zilla attitude aside for a moment ... I knew she was still in there somewhere.. my lil mall surfer who used to get pulled through the mall with her slippery dress shoes giggling her lil head off as she'd slip slide and spin on the tiled floor yelling AGAIN when we'd stop and pulling our arms to stand back up and do it some more. Then she composed herself and put the plastic smile back on and continued under her mom's directions

  It got quieter as the evening went on but as the newly re-wed's went around the room, they stopped mid-step as the couple put on their big people pants and approached The Black Sheep table, Bridezilla went right past her aunt and right to the one she had issues with , Me. I looked over her shoulder and the groomsmen were all watching intently at this pointas I've been pointed out appearantly as the 1 to watch out for. She starte with the pastic thank you for coming shpeel thats given as a cordiality but I grabbed her arm upside downn twisted so mine was backwards in an attempt to stop her a moment and the sound and air went out of the room briefly. As I stood to speak to her , my arm mirrored hershand to hand , it stunned my neice as if she were the deer in headlights ... I reminded her of who I was in a single sentence.   " Well , my lil mall surfer , even though you think I hate you you're wrong ... it's all the things that've happened and I wasn't there to stop , THATs what I hate"  She stood silent a second and looked over to my wife who didn't see them come up and she turned to look at the bride as her make up was now becomming ruined . I leaned in kissed her on the nose and added " Just cuz we're not there for every event, it doesn't mean we're not here for the important ones"  , she gathered up her train and hustled to the makeup room to compose herself... and the only ones who know what was said were the groom , the bride and the horrible monster of an uncle.  Just before we'd left one of the bridesmaids came over and asked what I'd said as her attitude changed to someone she hadn't seen since before her motorcycle accident, all I could say is "Sometimes people need to be reminded of who they were to make them see when they have become. Normally I've the voice of truth Today call me the ghost of Christmas past" This confused her but she thanked me just the same

   And here I was all set for a knock down drag out version of a redneck family gathering ... maybe now things will get back to the way they used to be