Someone asked me via e-mail....Shaq, How would you find a soulmater? Then I seriously thought of tips on How I would look for a soulmate:
Finding your Soulmate
Love at first sight is a myth - your eyes only see the similarity to a favorite movie star or novel hero. It's the time you spend together, where you share your innermost secrets, that builds the bonds of soulmates.
Be Available
It´s no good complaining about not finding a soulmate if you only go out with the same group of friends all the time, or stay at home watching TV. Your soulmate can´t see through walls to find you! Make sure you´re out in places where your soulmate has a chance of finding you, and doing things your soulmate would realize are important to him/her.
Comfortable and Trustable
Sometimes people expect soulmates to hit them like lightning out of the blue. They go on looking, while the perfect partner is there with them every day, listening to them, being available, being fully trusting. A soulmate is first and foremost a best friend. If you have a best friend that is available for more, have you thought about him or her? It might be time to realize that those traits that make your friend so perfect are the same traits a soulmate would share.
Do Things You Enjoy
Part of what makes someone just right for you is that you can be with them while you do the things you love. If you start out your hunt by doing those things you love - whether it´s skiing, birdwatching, canoing, or anything else - you´ll naturally run into people who enjoy those same hobbies. Some portion of them will be single, and a few of those might be just what you are looking for!Unless your hobby is drinking, a bar isn´t the best spot to begin. Start with where you´d like to end up!
Don´t Jump the Gun
In the search for a soulmate, you have so many expectations that it´s easy sometimes to look at someone and say, "Hey, she looks just like I imagined she would! She must be the one!" Looks are only ONE part (and a small part) of what makes a person a unique individual. You might get some small sense of what she is by her looks, but what she is truly like inside is far more important. Take time to know your date, to spend weeks with him/her, to get past your imagination and fantasy and into what is real. It´s that reality that makes a soulmate.
Don´t Knock Personal Ads!
Some people expect their soulmate to just ´appear´ magically. While this might happen in fairy tales, in real life you need to give your soulmate a chance of finding you. If you phrase your ad just right, you may come across whatever is key to your happiness. Fantasy and Reality
We get a lot of our ideas about love from movies and novels. When we watch the western hero shooting 200 bad guys in one minute, we say, "It´s just a movie." When we see a perfect love scene, though, we say, "Why don´t I have that?"
Movies are constructed to be perfect. Real life isn´t quite like that. Figure out what traits are really important to you in a partner, and focus on those. You´ll probably be able to find them!
Finding Your Soulmate
A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we´re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we´re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we´re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we´ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.
Keep your Eyes Open
A soulmate really isn´t about physical appearance. People change as they age, so what someone looks like at 20 won´t be what they look like at 40! It´s what they are really like inside, the part that will be steady and there for you no matter how long you´re together.
Sit down with a notebook and make a list of the qualities that are really important to you. Should he love Japanese food? Should she enjoy mountain biking? Look past that outer shell of the people you meet, and see if inside they are really what you are looking for in a partner. You might be surprised how close your soulmate really is already.
Understand your own Weaknesses
Most people have built in weaknesses when it comes to seeking partners. It might be that you´re drawn to the ´wild boy´ that you hope to tame, or that you´re attracted to the ´flirtatious girl´ that you´ll be the one she finally settles down with. If your aim is to have a soulmate, don´t go into a relationship trying to change your partner. You want to find someone who *is* great for you, not someone who *will* be great for you once you convince him/her to change a lot. Make a list of the qualities your soulmate will have, and make sure those are what you´re paying attention to.
Your Core Values
People change over the years, some hobbies come and go, and if you choose a soulmate based on something fleeting, it will depart at some point, leaving behind ... what? Figure out what is most important to you. If it´s staying active, as long as you and your partner both share that, you´ll do well. If your partner only likes rock climbing, and refuses to do anything else, what happens when rock climbing years are over? An ability to change and an open mind might be the most important quality in your soulmate.
Be There
A lot of what makes a ´soulmate´ is trust. You trust your soulmate with anything. You know your soulmate is there for you. So be there. If your partner needs something, be available. If your partner needs help, help. The more you are trusting that the other will catch you when you fall, the more complete your relationship will become.
Build the Connection
Your soulmate "should know everything about you". So let your partner know! Tell him or her your hopes and fears, and when you act a certain way, tell your partner *why* you are doing it. Your partner will soon know why you do what you do, and anticipate and react to it ... and it will grow with time.
Common Interests
Don´t assume that your soulmate has to have every single interest in common. Humans thrive on learning new things, and if you and your partner have, say, different tastes in music, it will expand each of your worlds that much more. Revel in the things that are different, and use it as a way to learn more about the world around you.
Let it Grow
If you´ve always dreamed about having a soulmate, don´t despair if your partner is not a mindreader. Knowledge of your partner is something that builds over time, and even someone who´s not skilled in reading your emotions at first will become an expert after a year or two.You have to communicate, too - tell your partner what you like and don´t like, explain why you do things the way you do. If you keep everything to yourself, you can hardly be surprised when your partner doesn´t know what you want!
One Love!
Lil-Shaq
