Awake but constantly dreaming…
Alive yet feeling far from it…
The distance keeps growing,
Though I struggle so to keep myself here and now!
I’m feeling a loss, so deep and so sad…
Though everything around me is good.
My home, my family, my life…
It doesn’t make sense to feel so lost!
Where are my tears?
What is this life? Is it mine? Is it real?
I’m losing all sense of what is and what’s true…
I’m losing all sense of myself!
What will happen to him if I should succumb?
What will happen to my little one?
How will my loved ones get on without me?
Where is my light at the end of the tunnel?
I’m torn in this struggle of mine…
Between wanting to get better,
And wanting to give in…
I wish I would just move on.
I want to see things differently…
I want to make a difference in someone’s life.
I want the world to be bettered by me in some small way.
I wish to be remembered…
What are these dreams anyways?
The dreams of a materialistic, wanting girl…
No dream worthy of manifesting…
I just hope I can make tomorrow look brighter…
jan 8th, 2004
