I'm amazed at some of the things I tend undergo with on a daily basis and haven't gone on a murdering rampage or committed myself in a mental institution. For instance, today there was some homeless guy begging on the downtown "E" train going to Goodwood, and you can tell when people try to lie by saying, "I don't have any change", or make that patting of their pockets gesture, to say they don't have any fucking money or better yet, NOT give their money to this smelly vagrant. So while this pitiful human being walks pass everyone refusing him change so he can get his fix for the day, this lowlife asshole would seem to zoom in directly towards me with a determination that he's going to get some money out of me. Yeah, so I fucking gave in by sparing my precious pocket change, gum wrapper and lint and this crackhead, wonder boy who would go on saying, "God bless you daughter", like he's the fucking pope and walked into the next cart. Being so "generous" on my part, I make a mental note of my only good deed for the day to avoid having to go to Hell when I die. The very fucking moment "pee-pee stink boy" leaves, another homeless derelict is begging everyone for money. Feeling that I already did my good deed, I say to myself that this fucker ain't getting shit from me. I'm miserable enough traveling in a crowded train squashed between some fat woman eating "Cheetos" and some asshole playing "Reggae tone" on his fucking cellphone! As much as I wanted to yank his phone and shove it up his ass, I hope he realizes one day that they invented MP3 players and portable disc man's a long, ass time ago! So as this next homeless person walks towards my direction, the "cellphone D.J." hands the guy a dollar. The morbidly obese, cheese puff lady hands the guy cheese powder stained coins to this guy as well. When this bum looks to me to see if I was to also be ever so generous in this display of humanitarianism, I quickly ignored him by pretending I was asleep. Yes......I know.....how lame of me. I personally did not want to open my mouth and start spewing obscenities and sarcasm at this destitute dumbass, but I was fucking tired and pay day is Friday. Mummy needs a new pair of shoes and a stop at the beauty salon! After the homeless guy got the point and walked away, the "cellphone D.J." would tap my shoulder and say, " Yo girl, dat shit was fucked up, ya heard?". I replied, "The only thing I seem to be hearing is your FUCKING CELLPHONE, ya heard?". Of course this upsetted him in trying to match wits with me by saying, "Yo I ain't gotta hear this shit from you, whitey!" , as he puffs himself up and tries to act "hard". I simply looked at him, smiled and started blaring "Devil Driver" on my cell phone. Amazingly, nothing escalated as this doo-ragged, spanish, jackoff would only ask me, "Yo, where can I get ring tones THAT clear, mah dude?". Sigh.......
I'm only another 20 mintues away from my destination and now another homeless person staggers in the train trying to make a pathetic attempt to sing, "New York, New York". Before I can make a chameleon of myself by pretending to be asleep again, "Cellphone D.J.", nudges me and says, "Yo pahtnah, yo dis crackhead bitch, is tweeking, niggah!". Stunned at how gold-toothed homey was raping the English language and even more at the fact that this guy has made a camaraderie towards me because he "respected my gangsta", another homeless guy would enter the other side of the train car and start cussing out this bitch for begging on his turf. Now you could feel the tension in the air and I knew the "Stay Puft, Cheese Puff Lady" was nervous because you can smell the strong scent of sweaty cheesiness reeking from her. I was entertained at how the homeless, crack headed woman was ranking at the guy for being an alcoholic and not trying to "hustle" to get his money. He in turn called her a "nasty, toothless bitch". As this war of degenerates was taking off nicely, an undercover cop flashed his badge and escorted the two sub-human scum out of the train on the next stop, berefting me of pure entertainment. So as "Cellphone D.J." was laughing like a hyena at the spectacle and "the human cheese puff" was still smelling of artificial cheese and funk, people start moving and crowding towards my side of the train car because someone started puking and seizuring in the train. Word gets to the conductor and this "geni-ass", ( I substituet the word 'genious' for people like this), stops the train halfway through the tunnel of the next trainstop. Smelling the nice mix of a possible drug induced vomit and cheese, we waited for 40 minutes smelling this shit until the EMT's came to haul the ass clown who was flopping like a fish away. I remember during that whole 40-minute-wait, evil thoughts and whines were flashing through my head. Stuff like possibly squeezing the guy through a window and tell the conductor to movet he fucking train or hoping this guy chokes on his vomit and dies for making me late! I know thinking like this is wrong by society's standards, but this shitbag couldn't have gotten sick on another, fucking train?!?!? FUCK! Plus from what I discovered, from a poll taken a few years ago, only 5% of the entire population in this country is considered "normal". Personally I'm scared to death of those people!
These are one of many events I must seem to endure on an almost constant basis and it feels good to vent it out on a blog. I just hope one day I don't snap and have to come across another "cellphone D.J." and disembowel him with a fucking spork! Goodnight and goodluck folks! Ciao for now and please beat the shit out of someone crowding your personal space!
