The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leakey tire.
It's darkest before the dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's paper that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable, If you can't be replaced you can't be promoted.
Always remember, you're unique just like everyone else.
never test the depth of the water with both feet
If you think no one cares if you're alive, try missing a few car payments.
Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in thier shoes. That way when you do criticize them you're a mile away, and you have thier shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .
If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it.
Tell the truth, that way you don't have toi remember anything.
Somedays you're the bug, somedays you're the winshield.
Everyone seems normal until you get to meet them.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket.
There are 2 theories to arguing with women, niether works!
Never under ANY circumstances take a laxative and a sleeping pil on the same night.
