I have a deep sadness that deepens everyday.. knowing he is still here, knowing he is still breathing. I pains me to think of it.. though not the pain he is forever feeling.
I speak of my Grandpa. My friend. He is 76 years old and not doing too well. He has lived a long enough life, is it cruel to pray that he passes soon? I can't stand the thought of his torture. even now my eyes well up with tears.. as they have been doing for a while now. When I talk to him of course he sugar coats everything.. not to worry his "Little Lamb". I miss him so much and I wish there was something I could do for him. ANYTHING to ease his agony.
Fuck I hate knowing his current state... I love him too much to ..
WONT YOU TAKE HIM OUT OF THIS FORSAKEN LIFE ALREADY!? END HIS PAIN!? END HIS SUFFERING!? I BEG YOU END IT NOW! TAKE HIM HOME TODAY!
Yet I want to see him one last time before he goes. He lives near Denver Colorado.. God I miss him. I last saw him in 2005. 2 fucking years ago. DAMNIT I HATE THIS!
I hate seeing those I love in any kind of pain, ESPECIALLY pain like his, a constant never ending pain..
Pain Pills you say? he takes 4 pills, 200mg each of hydrocodone and it doesnt even take the smallest edge off.. Morphine will kill him..
I already said that too.. why not take the morphine? It reminds me of a poem "Quote the Angel"
don't look for it it isnt published.
Grandpa is so full of life even though he can't enjoy it now. Always cracking jokes, telling stories of his life, of WWII and the Drepression.. stories of family history, of his secrets he can only share with me. He and I have alot in common.
so loving, he doesnt judge people either.. I can bring any of you crazy people to his home (granted that I know you) and he will accept you in his home and invite you to stay awhile.
please take him from this life. end his pain.. my sadness.. i beg you.
