her through my eyes
Its all in her eyes,
everything she is,
was, would, will,
could... be -
her wants, dreams, wishes;
her pain, hurts, sadness;
her heart, soul.
I see her smile,
though she isn't -
even when she is.
I feel her warmth
yet she's so terribly cold...
at least to herself
but not for me.
I know the 'love'
within her -
I know its there,
I 'see' it
with every look,
everyday and everywhere.
She can't hide from me -
anything from me,
just from herself.
She wants to give -
thinks that she doesn't,
can't, and won't ever... give.
Doesn't know how to,
nor just what to -
give or,
for all that matter,
be.
But she 'gives' so much
that she doesn't know...
she gives herself
to me...
ever and always -
with every look.
I know her 'fear'...
and the reasons - all the why's.
The lil lies she tells herslf
and tries so hard to believe.
The tears held within,
all her 'moments' afraid.
Wishes - of stopping,
of wanting more,
and not knowing
what to say or do -
nor when to say or do
anything at all.
A woman now,
no more the child -
though the child was happy
- she still remembers
what 'happy' was -
and the woman can't be,
won't be, isn't allowed -
to be,
or feel happy,
or anything at all
of herself -
by herself
though she isn't the cause,
just... the result.
She is so pretty -
inside, but she can't see
inside now...
nor believe,
for it 'hurts' to believe
in anything, anyone...
all the time - anymore.
So hurt, by what she can't
control... and her life
just goes on and on.
I wish...
she could for but an instant
'see' herself - as I do...
through my eyes
and know - actually know,
the real woman she is,
how lovely she is,
and that I care,
and always will.
copyright jas 2008
