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What are you waiting for?

well yeah. here i am. I feel so alone and confused. Like im a drifter with no home, and never will have one. Each time i think things are going really well the glass floor shatters underneath me, dropping me back into the depths. I often wonder what i did in a past life to give me this karma. Love? ha, its not an option in my life, and I realize that more every time I try. I love unconditionally, and I havent ever gotten that back in return. I am scared to make connections anymore to friends or anyone else, cuz it always seems to bite me in the ass. I have always told the truth, and somehow I havent I guess, well at least thats what I hear. Then one time i tell the truth and really dont want to, I frikin betray a friend, and hurt another, and still am the outsider with no real family. So what do you do? Tell everyone to fuck off? or pretend everything is okay and in the past? I dont know what to do right now, and Im not sure I will. Im getting to the point of just not caring and screwing the whole world, telling everyone and their brothers to fuck off and leave me alone. BUt that will only make me more of the outsider, more alone.....I dont know, its not a good day, sorry, lol....things always get better right?

hi

yeah okay this is okay not really my deal, but its cool in its own right. Having a bad day today so im not too up on much of anything. Feel like breaking things just to hear then shatter. yeah being a woman is a bitch, i dont recommend it to anyone. but yeah i guess ill just write more when i feel better.....
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