Shane is just about my favorite person in the world. He really is the funniest person that I know.
His humor in life is so adult and at the same time...so clean..so honest.
I am proud of that.
He knows me better then anyone. He can tell when I am upset or when I need to laugh. He will smile at me..his twin dimples charm me, and he somehow talks me into hopping on the trampoline with him, simply because he says I need to laugh.
"It has been entirely too long since I have heard you laugh Mom..You USEDA laugh all the time, But now you seem worried alot."
My son is also wise. Did I mention?
As I left from work this evening Dawns murmured to me as she was writing.. "Are you ganna be grumpy Beanie...cuz you always are so grumpy when you plan things."
30 minutes later I was buckled up, Party list in hand. I looked at my son and figured it was worth mentioning.
"Look son, I know you have never planned a party with me before...but im kinda known as a party nazi."
He looked at me. Smiling. His eyebrows raised over his glasses.
"reeeeeeeeeallllly?" He shrugged and patted me on the shoulder. "I think I can handle it, and if I can't my birthday presents will console me...LET'S Goooooo!"
I laughed and backed out of the driveway.
What started out as a way too long day turned into one damn good date with my son.
In the car I had the music blasting to a song I like. My body was moving. I kept leaning over and singing to him.
The music stops.
"WHAT the HELL!" I say as I look at Shane.
He smiles.
Glaring at him, I turn the music back on...only a tad louder.
"Mom...MOOOOM!"
I sing to him "You are my sweetest dooooownfaaaaallll...I LOVED YOU first...I Looo"
He hits his head against the window.
"HEY! What are you trying to say!" I frown at him.
"Is my singing booooothering you Shane? Ohmygosh I'm so offended!"
"Mom...MOM No.." he rubs my hair. "Turn off the music and sing without it."
"WHY!?"
"I hate music in the car. It annoys the hell out of me!"
His eyes are wide.
"FINE!" and i lower the music. "There. It is low but not off...not loud..okay? Compromise."
"Okay Okay. Thats good....wanna see me transform my FACE??!!"
"Of course I do, how silly of you to think i wouldnt."
He made me laugh so hard at one point I went into a coughing fit, it was then that he offered to drive me if i was no longer fit.
He says this lazily and with his left arm thrown behind my seat. His ankle rested on his knee...Relaxed.
I smiled at him, gulped my water and said that I think I had it...but thanks.
"Look mom...Im ganna be honest with you." He says after a few moments of rare silence went by.
Looking both ways before pulling into traffic I say "Shoot."
He stretches his back and then relaxes against the seat again. "I get boners at the oddest times."
I looked over at him and smile. "Do you?"
"Yuuuup"
"Are you looking at someone cute or something?"
"Nope...just whenever...I just get one."
"WHYYYY?" I squeal in the 'i don't have a penis im so confused' kinda way.
"Well...how the hell do I know? It just happens!"
".....Like....when your thinking about sex or something?" I am thoughtful
"No...like when I'm just about doing anything."
"Awwwwwwwwww! I think thats normal, but I am unsure since I have a vagina. We should Google it!"
He shakes his head. "You are entirely too happy about my issues."
"Awwwww. I love you say boner. Thats so Jr.High."
He pats my shoulder and doesn't state the obvious...that he IS in Jr. High.
During dinner we built towers out of cream. I laughed at him when I built mine higher with the salt.
He laughed louder when He used the pepper and topped it off with another cream.
I spent months...MONTHS worried about the things that I no longer have in my life.Things I have absolutely no control over.
Guilt and heartbreak...worry and Bill juggling, but as we pulled onto our street tonight...he had just finished telling me of another memory that he had of us when he was a baby.
I smiled.
"I have hundreds of them. Maybe thousands."
"Thousands of what?" I asked.I couldn't see him in the dark car...only the refection of light off of his glasses.
"Thousands of wonderful Memories."
And that damn near made my heart melt.
