Ingredients:
*One cup water
*One cup sugar
*Four large eggs
*Two cups of dried fruit
*One teaspoon baking soda
*One teaspoon salt
*One cup brown sugar
*Lemon juice
*Nuts
*One bottle whisky
* Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
* Repeat.
* Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
* Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.
* Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
* Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
* Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.
* Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
* Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
* Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again, and go to bed.
