I have been going crazy tearing myself apart over something lately. Its been so bad i'm not even sure what to do with myself. Even worse I know what I should do and I just can't bring myself to do it because it would mean giving up something that means more to me than anything. I've realized that it is just making me crazy because I want something so badly it hurts and I know that I'll probably never have that again but I'm to stupid to just let go of that last tiny glimmer of almost nonexistant hope. I just can't do it. It will kill me because it would hurt so bad to let him go. I know I've been doing the things I have for the wrong reasons. They aren't bad reasons just the wrong ones. Its my head against my heart again and I can't win either way I'll be hurt. If anyone has better advice than I can give myself please tell me because I can't handle this much longer. I'm falling apart at the seams and about ready to just let it happen...........
