there is a gleaming and undeniable evidence that human beings are wholly unlike any other animal in the cosmos - we are a precious mingling of the flesh and immortal fire. we long to be seen, approached, understood and to get into miscief; unconcious of the seductive quality in simple gestures. we try to stir everything up and see if it won't boil over and God won't come down and grab us by the hair.
you pick the voices that scold you. you pick those who will turn on you and stick the knife right into your heart. some seem to stand ready, prancing about gleefully, ready to snatch our souls and pinch it between evil little fingers. relentless as ever before. all we can do is hope that the angels and saints intervene.
there is a terrible lie in all this, but it makes no difference in the pain that we can feel. when do we become weak? why the sinking feeling in our stomach, the thinkness in our throat, the heat of tears in our eyes? why the tight knot of tension inside us expanding into a searing ache almost physical in intensity? the knife of pain can be driven so deep inside us as to steal the life from our soul. it's like trying to catch falling stars.
yes, we have made ghastly mistakes. terrible, terrible errors. luckily, we are strengthened by our ordeals, and can be made ready for something to happen. happiness must be paid for, and the price is often pain. we constantly try to make sense of everything we try to hide from, but some things are seen not by the eyes but through the heart and the depths of the unconcius. it is the embodiments of the destructive and regenerative extremes to be found in human nature.
small things can hold great truths, revealing great wisdom, hilarity, or sorrow - and depths of compassion that are far beyond our mortal understanding. it is necessary to detach oneself from worldly possessions in order to find the freedom of mind.
physical beauty and what is beautiful to the eye is great, surpassed only by the matchless beauty within and hidden. that is the beauty we should treasure, keep as our own, and delight to see. this beauty is what draws me to life and maddens me.
daily we find ourselves embarked on a journey that is waiting for the right time to change our lives. i can't squash my flightful spirit or my curiosity in knowing and understanding what life has in store and why.
sincerely, amy
