Okay...so something several non-artists don't know is that in general, any artist of any genre and of any type (music, writing, fine arts, crafts, etc.) is pretty much crazy. I blame Art itself for doing this to these poor people, and alas, I am one of it's unsuspecting victims.
I remember as a kid, I drew because I loved it. I remember continuing to draw into teenage years and very-early adulthood, because I loved it. Then things changed. I started doing it because I felt obligated. "You have talent, Tanya...you will get somewhere with it one day." That drove me to draw just because I could...not because I loved it. I got absolutely nowhere with that strategy, with the acception of making a decent income for a few months as a free-lance custom design artist in a tattoo shop. Making anywhere between 30 and 100 bucks per pop for 5 to 30 minutes of my time...hey, good money, right? Well, it was for a minute. Slow season hit, I had to quit and here I am, two months later, working at WalMart and not drawing anymore. For me, drawing became a staple in my life. I hated doing it, but I had some sort of drive to do it...it wasn't *that* feeling though, I didn't love doing it. Up until about 2 months ago, I drew every single day for hours because I felt I had to or I'd go [more] insane. Then, I just stopped cold-turkey, and (dare I say it) I didn't care.
Here recently, I have been feeling a desire to draw again...and a trickle of that desire feels like it did when I was a kid...because I loved to do it. I have been wanting to get back to creating art for the sake of loving it for quite some time. To enjoy creating again. Hopefully it will happen soon, and I won't have to force it. If it comes back to me and I enjoy it once again, I can imagine my art either improving immensely, or changing 180. I look forward to either way it may go, but all I can do for now is wait for it to come and then see what happens.
