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Shel's blog: "Funny"

created on 02/28/2011  |  http://fubar.com/funny/b339800

 1.  We got off the Titanic first. 
2. We can  scare male bosses with mysterious  gynecological  disorder excuses. 
3. Taxis  stop for us. 
4. We don 't look like a frog in  a blender when dancing. 
5. No fashion faux  pas we make could ever rival the Speedo. 
6.  We don 't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.  
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to  know. 
8. We can congratulate our teammate  without ever touching her  rear end. 
9. We  never have to reach down every so often to make  sure  our privates are still there. 
10. We  have the ability to dress ourselves. 
11.   We can talk to the opposite sex without  having to picture  them naked. 
12.  If  we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware  that  we will look like an idiot. 
13. We will  never regret piercing our ears. 
14. There  are times when chocolate really can solve all  your  problems.
15.. We can make comments  about how silly men are in their  presence  because they aren't listening anyway.  

The little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm,

His mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well,  he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. 

He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon?

Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week.

I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either.

I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?"

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