ToYBoX69's blog: "Funny Stuff"

You've gotta love this professor at Duke University. There were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc. Each had an "A" so far for the semester. The four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to drive up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying; they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They told him they had gone to UVA for the weekend and planned to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final. The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He confiscated their cell phones and other electronic devices and placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was something simple about free radical formation. Cool, they thought! Each one, in his separate room, thought the exam was going to be easy. After finishing the first problem they turned the page. On the second page was written: For 95 points: Which tire?

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House'', for instance, is feminine: ''la casa''. ''Pencil'', however, is masculine: "el lapiz''. A student asked, ''What gender is 'computer'?'' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computadora”) because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (This gets better!) The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (“el computador”) because: 1 In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won.

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing The operator said "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse." After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone, "Oh, good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr.Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday." The grand mother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me CHIT

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Henry Asquith~

Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face Bless his hair that tends to curl Keep him safe from all the girls Bless his arms that are so strong Keep his hands where they belong Bless his dick, the one i sucked Bless the bed, in which we fucked And if my Mom happened to walk in Bless the shit I'd be in. Amen!

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." "Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!" "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling." "Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable." "Your services might be as useful as a barber’s shop on the steps of a guillotine."

Name: ______________ Age:__ Sex__ Phone__________ School____________ Occupation_________ Height__ Weight___ Waist___ Breast/Penis size__ Phat ass(Y/N)__ Married(Y/N)__ Single(Y/N)__ Other__Looking__ Do u like to be Fucked(Y/N)__ How often (check appropriate answer) Daily__ Weekly__ Monthly__ As much as possible__ How long can u last (check appropriate answer) 1min __ 15min__ 30min__ 1hr__ All nite__ Do u like giving oral sex(Y/N)__ Do u like receiving oral sex(Y/N)__ If I cum in ur mouth (check appropriate answer) Spit__ Swallow__ Depends__ OR Neither__ Which do u prefer (check appropriate box) One on one__ Doubles__ Group__ While having sex, what do u do (check all appropriate answers) Faint__ Cry__ Moan__ Wiggle__ Twist__ Jerk about__ Pant__ Sweat__ Scream__ Hum__ Whistle__ Scratch__ Just lie there__ Go to sleep__ Watch tv__ Read__ Think of someone else__ Or do u just hump like hell__ List three positions u like: 1._______________ 2._______________ 3._______________ What is ur preferred pace (check appropriate answer) Slow__ Fast__ Very fast__ Rigorous__ When is the best time to reach u (check appropriate answer) Morning__ Afternoon__ Nite__ How late can u stay out (check appropriate answer) 11-12am__ 1-2am__ all nite__ Any talent or skills(Y/N) if so, list _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ Applicant's signature_______ Date____________________ PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES 1. No sleeping over-- unless the sex was so good and we need to repeat it in the morning 2. No meeting in public place—unless getting drinks or sumthin to eat before the nite's events 3. No calls before 7pm—we don't have shit to talk about 4. None of that "love making"—u come to fuck and u fuck to cum 5. No emotional conversations--- love is not a feeling between us 6. No comparisons between previous fucks—I don't give a shit 7. No calling each other "friends with benefits"—we're not friends, we just fuck together 8. Calling out the wrong name while having sex is ok—just don't be offended 9. No excessive clothing—I don't want u leaving anything when u leave 10. Do not be offended if I don't ask u how good it was—I don't give a shit 11. If someone asks who u are, tell them we just met 12. Try not to make eye contact during sex—the less connection the better 13. If ya like. then contact me somehow!! Failure to abide by these rules and principles will result in a swift and immediate termination of this contract and any other contacts with the holder of this agreement. In other words. Ima kick ur ass to the curb. Participator's signature_______________________ Date_____________ *Notification of ur hiring will be sent to u within 48 hours. Pictures will generate a faster response. Thank You. Click my photo below to submit your application to me. ToYBoX69

@ CherryTAP NOTICE: this is not for a real life meeting..ONLY for CT.

This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean. John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and fi nish your meal, Sonny!" For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?" Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!" Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car". Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted ........ "COLDWATER! GO LAY DOWN!!!!" Meet Coldwater:

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been published in the Atlanta Journal. SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting.... Please scroll down Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society

Ladies this has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this! I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal . Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it." Never ! going back to that doctor ever.