Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!
Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming!"
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation.
Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Start playing football with some cans and see how many people you can get to join in.
Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department over the top of your clothes.
Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
Play with the automatic doors.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's reaction as you attempt to buy them.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
