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i dont have many. lots of aquaintences. not many friends. especially ones like my pal last night. i went to see iggy and stooges with my pal and his old lady. they drove. i forgot my wallet. they drove all the way back home. then back to the city. after the show we went to this bar/eatery which was expensive (for this guy who is broke and sucks at life and such) and my pal paid the tab. period. entree. like 4 fucking appetizers. drinks. 'no man, its your belated birthday.' jesus christ. and i got another pal who also has been extremely nice to me lately as well. not too mention my 4 old roommates who i went to see for my birthday, who TRIED to take care of everything, but im a sneaky bastard. or my one super-pal on here who is always 'i miss you' 'where the fuck are you?' 'hang out more' 'hey red queer where the fuck have you been?!' all the time. anygays. its weird. im not a good person. im not a good friend. i try. but i fail miserably. im absent minded. its nothing personal, honest. shit comes up with another friend or something and its damned if you do, damned if you dont. or maybe i just want me time. but then im selfish. i dunno. its one of my curses. its been like this for a long god damn time. i try to change it but shit usually goes sour even quicker then. point is. these cats who recently blew me away with their generousity and friendship deserve something or someone far more cooler than i. i honestly wish i could see what they see. i usually just irritate people after awhile and then they hate me. used to that. but some of these people. seriously, just amaze me. whatever.
