A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3am. His wife is sleeping. He is trying to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and he cuts a fart.
His wife wakes up and asks "What in the world was that?" He replies "A touchdown. I am winning 7 to nothing." She thinks to herself "I'm gonna fix him." She lets one loose. He yells at her "What was that?" She replies "Touchdown. Tied score." Now he thinks "I'm gonna fix her." He lays there for 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he shits in the bed. The wife asks "What was that?" He replies "Half time switch sides"
