Fed up with telemarketers? Try mooing
By Sara LedwithFri Nov 24, 6:22 AM ET
Congratulations! You can win the holiday of your dreams - a break from telemarketers -- if you're willing to moo, fake a murder scene, or follow a list of other diversionary tactics.
Those calls that always come when you're sitting down to dinner, with a robotic script to give you the secret of solar-powered hot-water bottles, can be a thing of the past. The Web offers many escapes from what Time Magazine has dubbed one of the worst inventions of the last century.
Some are practical - others frivolous, but tempting.
The Web site www.junkbusters.com encourages people to "bust the junk messages out of your life" by registering their phone number with a national do-not-call registry -- or downloading an "out of service tone" to confuse telemarketers' computers.
"We believe that 'the right to be let alone' ought to be a fundamental human right, and that nobody should ever have to pay to maintain it," says junkbusters, declaring its mission "to free the world from junk communications."
Including detailed guides and links to other resources to help cut down spam email, junk mail and junk faxes, junkbusters is a toolkit -- for people with the time to mine it.
But for more instant relief, http://www.sorrygottago.com hosts a battery of pre-recorded audio clips, some to play down the phone to cold callers, others just for fun.
Many offer the satisfaction of giving corporate callers a taste of their own call-centre manners.
"Your call is very important to us," says one. "That's why we have you on 'hold' with almost no chance of someone coming over to take the call. But if you would like to hold for an indefinite period of time and have nothing better to do, be our guest. Thank you for calling."
Other clips offer softer exits -- cows mooing, or lots of sneezing. A male voice making "I'm listening" noises including a random "Oh I'm here, I'm here," and a "That's unbelievable, you are just unbelievable," before hanging up.
But http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com scales surreal heights.
A comedy clip from American Tom Mabe, "the comedian nationally recognized for getting revenge on those annoying Telemarketers" according to his website, was recently one of the most popular on the user-generated content site.
Mabe turns the tables on the caller who is offering "a complete digital satellite system for free" by saying he is a detective and the caller is trying to contact a man who has just been murdered. Where was the telemarketer last night?
