Expressions that men use that should interpreted appropriately:
1.) Shut the fuck up! It means exactly that, because you are talking too much about a load of old bollocks and you are saying it far too loud!
2.) I pay the bills in this house! This means be grateful for the fact that you don't have to get of your fat fucking arse and get a job and all I ask in return is that you do the housework, cook my meals and suck my knob!
3.) Petrol money. It is a scientific fact that the combustion engine of the modern automobile runs on a fuel called petrol. This fuel needs money to pay for it. If you want me to run you down to the shops to get more shit for your already over packed wardrobes, then try paying towards it.
4.) You're doing my fucking head in: This is an extension of point 1
5.) Fidelity: The more you suck my knob, then the less likely I am going to stray and yes it is quite normal for a man to come in your mouth
6.) Anal! Yes I know it is uncomfortable for you, but then so is spending the evening listening to your mother prattle on about a complete load of shit!
7.) Sharking: Just because I appreciate the pert shape of your mates arse does not mean that I am sleeping with them. It just means that I like looking at a pert firm arse for a change
8a.) Menstrual cycle: Seriously, we don't want to know....ever!
8b.) Menstrual cycle: Inform us when this over, but during this time we may be permitted to fuck you up the arse!
9.) Pornography: We are not exploiting women, they are exploiting us. In fact it really is nothing more than the fact that you women suffer from penis envy!
10.) Masturbating: Yes, men like to wank. Just get over it. It doesn't matter if you are the most desired women in the world. We will still want to have a wank!
11.) Facials: Be grateful that men have an infinite source of vitamin E that can be produced by our bodies. All we are doing is saving you a fortune in expensive face creams by bonding with you by having a massive wank over your face. Aren't you the lucky ones!
12.) Sighs, STFU, Whatever and mood swings: When you do any of these. It just proves us men right that your mother is an obnoxious old bag who didn't raise their daughter to have any manners!!!
Now repost this within the next five minutes, then get my dinner on!
