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Things to ponder

THINGS TO PONDER...... If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Out of the box thinking

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It. 2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It. 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path. 4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It. 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam! 6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroid's. 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick. 8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese. 9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses. 10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quattro Sinko. 11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk. 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite. 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck. 14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef. 15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him. 16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers. 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog. 18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka. 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover? The Location Of The Dirt Bag. 20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat. 21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack. 22. How Is a Texas Tornado And a Alabama Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer!

A True Soul Mate

A True Soul Mate Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
Reflections Through A Mirror Like a shattered mirror, Were the pieces of my life. A dark and broken mess, A heart full of strife. The rebuilding of the mirror, Is slowly taking place, Building something which is whole, Within the empty space. Put together by a master, Whos working sight unseen. To slowly fit together, Each and every seam. A kind and gentle angel, Someone of loving heart. To give the broken mirror, A new life and fresh start. For that i thank you, The keeper of my heart and soul. For entering my life, And once again making me whole.... Copyright ©2004

Everyday Thoughts

If we do what we've always done, We'll get where we've always gotten. Overnight success usually takes 10 years of hard work to achieve. Consider the uses of adversity. The end of the road always turns out to be a bend. Look which way the crowd is going and go the other way. "Learn to listen" Opportunity knocks very softly. How can you soar like an eagle, when you're surrounded by turkeys If it don't kill you, It just makes you stronger. Nobody can put you down without your consent. We only grow when we push ourselves beyond what we already know. Never go backwards to go forwards. You have built your castles in the air, Now lay the foundations underneath. Keep learning, new ideas make work interesting. I've learned that most things I worry about never happen. You never get rewarded for the things you intend to do. It takes just as much time to wish as it does to plan. If you want conditions to be perfect before you act, You'll never act. You should fill your life with experiences, Not excuses. You can't expect life's very best if you're not giving it your very best. Shit Happens. If you've never known fear then you've never known bravery. Opportunities are usually disguised by hard work, so most people don't recognise them. Transform the menial into the meaningful. Ask and you will recieve, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you ! Take a risk ! Do something different ! Life starts when you stop talking and start acting. If you want a good job, look for things you can get into not get out of. Don't expect to feel the fire until you throw on some logs. Failing to plan means planning to fail. People who care never go anywhere. Take charge and take a chance. Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration. The fruit we eat comes from the trees planted by someone else. We have to plant trees for those who will follow us. Success is getting up one more time than you fall. If nice guys finish last it's not because they are nice guys ! Nothing is terminal. Everything is transitional. What looks like the end of the road will turn out to be a bend. You can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets. Triumph is made up of 2 words....... Try and Umph ! He who rows the boat is too busy to rock it. It's a tough road to the top but the view is worth it. If you don't believe it's a great day, just try missing one. Great goals are never achieved until you decide to dare to fail. Cleaning your house while the kids are still growing, is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. If you want to know what a person is really like, Give him or her some authority. The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train, So even if your on the right track, don't just sit there. If a cluttered room means a cluttered mind, what does an empty room mean ? People who never change their minds are either perfect or stubborn. Don't be a porcupine. There's no use having a lot of good points if no-one can get close. To blow and swallow at the same moment is not easy. G.J.Nathan says " I drink to make other people more interesting." Love will not debate who goes first, fear will. Trust ME ! Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, You aren't. Remember, when you are pointing your finger at someone there are three pointing back at you. You're either part of the problem or part of the solution. Which one are you ? People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. Only the conceited do not like to be corrected. The wise always ask for advice. Determine who you are and what you want to become before you decide what you want to do and have. Nobody is defeated until they start blaming somebody else. I am no bigger than what it takes to upset me. A tree is known by the fruit it bears. ( So are people ) Money is not a problem until I believe it will solve my problems. People need the most love when they are the most unloved. There are those who can live with problems and those who cannot live without them. Which one are you ? Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goals. The mouth speaks what the heart is full of. ( p.s: There's one nice thing about egotists:they don't talk about other people.) Take time to think and pray. It is medicine for the mind and soothing to the soul. A wise counsellor is one who says little but lets people talk themselves out. Don't fix the blame, Fix the problem. We do not stop playing because we are old. We grow old because we stop playing. Worry is taking responsibility for something God didn't intend you to have. God doesn't look at how much we do, but with how much love we do it. We must free ourselves to be filled by God. Even God cannot fill what is full. A dry crust eaten in peace is better than steak every day with an argument. Money can buy everything except the things we want and need the most. Contentment is being appreciative for what I already have. A true companion is always available no matter what the circumstances. God does not ask about your ability. He asks about your availability. I know of only one duty, and that is to love. Today, let your hopes not your hurts decide your future. Focus on being thankful and you will find much to be thankful for. Humility is to choose to be known for who you are - not what you do or have. It takes a lot of faith to climb a mountain. But it takes just as much faith to climb down. People who expect the best usually get what they expect. Your vision determines your attitude and your altitude. Your attitude determines your actions. Faith is knowing it can be done. Don't abandon your dreams becuse of those who lack the vision. I choose my attitude in every circumstance - the good times and the bad. Faith it till you make it. No person has ever gone blind from looking at the bright side of life. There's always a way if you are willing to pay the price in time, energy or effort. Success is in direct proportion to your commitment to excellence and your love of what you do, regardless of your chosen field of endeavour. No - One can make you feel inferior without your consent. It takes guts - to leave the ruts. It is always the adventureers who accomplish great things. Go adventuring. The mind is like a parachute. It doesn't function until it's open. Entertaining a bad thought is like trying to slide half way down. Life is like a sandwich. The more you add to it, the better it becomes. Don't terminate an idea. Germinate an ideal. When you put a new idea into action you open the door to possibility. People who live positively develop "Twinkle Wrinkles" around their eyes. Unhappiness is the hunger to get ; Happiness is the hunger to give. Great people are just ordinary people with great desire.
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