emmymaybee's blog: "emmy_maybee"

So life has been really crazy here lately. Well, more like the last year or so. Last year I left the man that I had been with for the better part of two years. Honestly it was the best thing for me. Because if I hadn't I would either be dead, still out there twacked off my ass, or in trouble with the law. Yeah I matured a lot while in that relationship, but by the time I got out of it, I was nothing. (I mean that litterally) He had beat me, talked to me like I was the lowest piece of shit in the world. But today, with the help of a few select people that helpped me up, I am not that person anymore. I am no longer one who sits back and lets someone treat them like shit, and walk all over them...No I have the courage, and everything else to stand up for myself once more. The one person that has helped me the most is now the love of my life. I will go back to that later... You see when I left the asshole I wasn't really looking for a relationship. I hung out with a friend of mine, after i broke up with him, and that was just another bad situation. To clarify things for those who still believe that I left alan for rick, I did not. I left him because the man that I was with for almost two years, the man that said he wanted to be my everything, raped me. Now tell me how could you do that to someone you love? Yes I did go out on the road with rick at that time, he needed someone to keep him company, and I needed the time to clear my head, and that is exactally what I did. People asked me what I was thinking when I thought about beginning a relationship with someone who was twice my age, the only explination that I have for that is... The one and only thing that was on my mind at that time was DOPE!!! and he had it... But in that time one the road, I found out a lot about myself.

   I also figured out why I was so unhappy in the relationships that I have chose to have in the past. For some reason, I have a bad track record of finding the men that tell me what I want to hear, and when they had me wrapped around their little finger, they turn into a doucebag. So it was during that time on the road that I decided that I was done with men. Rick knew what kind of situation I was in and after talking a long time, even he asked me if I was just bi-sexual. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks, I was getting into these relationships to put up a front, hiding was I was truly feeling inside.  I was tired of hurting, wanting my pride to show as brightly on the outside as it was on the inside...Well today it does, almost a year and a half ago now, I finnally lifted that weight of the world off my chest. I came out and told my family, friends, and anyone else that would listen that I am gay.

Let me back up a little bit, because there was one other thing that helpped me realize what I wanted. The day that I broke up with the asshole I went to visit a friend of mine that always gave me a shoulder to cry on. She had a friend that just moved to town that day, so she introduced me to her. I will never forget that day, because it changed my life forever. The person that Rachel (Uncle Fester) itroduced me to is the one that I made mention of earlier, now the love of my life. Her name is Elizabeth Noah, and after tomorrow I will legally be her wife. The first day that I met her, you know, I thought she was pretty cool, and hot. I guess that she thought the same about me, because while I was out of town on the road, she asked Uncle Fester what my number was. So I was quite surprised when I got a text message from her one day. We talked that day a little bit, and then the next day when I woke up I had another text that read, "Just out of curiosity for one day would you like the goddess treatment?" I couldn't reply to it till I got back in town and got my phone on the charger, which was another three days. I sent back I would love it. We continued talking for the next few weeks while I was out of town. Things happened and I decided to stay in town. Uncle Fester offered me a place. I couldn't refuse.  So I went to stay with her.  That's when my relationship realy took off.

One of the days when Liz was home from work.We were sitting in Uncle Festers room watchin a movie of tv with her. A lithium battery comercial came on and for some reason it triggered a craving. It was horrible, my heart started to race, I could even taste the dope in the back of my mouth, and I started crying. I think that's when she realized how bad I was in my addiction. As I sat there bawling, and rocking, she held me as tight and as close as she could saying that it'll be alright. After that was over she looked me dead in my eyes, and said "You can either have that old life, or you can have me" That was a no brainer, I chose a new life.  That was almost a year and a half ago.

We've had a couple of rough spots, you know the usual.  Trying to keep a place to stay, and financial issues. But we've made it this far. She asked me a while back if I would marry her, I said yes. So, the origional plan was to save up money, and go to Salem, Massachusets to get married there. But then we find out that Iowa has passed the law, that they recognize a same sex marriage. So we made a trip up to Iowa on June 5th of this year to file for the licence. Which was amazing, because it just so happened that the same day was the opening day of the gay pride festivle in KC, Mo. What a better way to celebrate? Our boss asked us if we were going how we were gonna show that we just filled out our application... So we went to the store and I got a veil, and Liz got a bow tie, and we walked around Pride like that.  We also ended up walking around that weekend with our boss.  That's when Kevin became one of my friends.

  So yall are now up to speed. Tomorrow we are going to a court house here in Iowa and making it competely legal. Our boss Kevin is going to be one of the witnesses, and our close friend from work Angela is going to be the other. I can't wait.  That's about it for now.