Ok i'm having one of those weeks where nothing is going right for me, not even with my bf, and I don't know how to fix things, it seems no matter how much I tell him that I miss him and love him it just doesn't seem to be enough.
See it all started out with him not feeling well and his meds weren't making him feel any better and made him feel kinda not here, which i understand, but the rest of him didn't feel like he was here either. You know when you have this feeling that the person your with is a little distant and you think that something else is going on, well that how I have been feeling and I told him that but prolly in the wrong way.
There are times when I wish it was just like it was before when I had all of his attention and I didn't have to share him with anyone else cusz he didn't care, just wanted to be with me, and now I just feel so lost without him, I miss everything about him, sometimes I wonder if he really knows just how much I want to be with him and how much I really do Love him..
And I'm here again made to feel like I really did something wron , when I can't see what I did wrong, I mean is telling the one you love your feelings about something really that wrong? And why is it that everytime I tell someone my feelings or what is on my mind I get the door slammed on me. It's getting so hard to let someone get close to you or to even let them into your heart cusz your so scared that what happened to you in the past is going to repeat it's self again.
My past is this, I have had 3 major very longterm relationships in my life, #1 just came to me one day and simply said that he just stopped loving me, #2 told me that he could never love me the way that I love him but then did, but also turns out that he had a roomate that he was going to marry and just kept telling me that they were just that roomates. #3 kept telling another women the same thing he was telling me that he loves me and wants to be with me and so on..(u kinda get the rest)and now i'm at that point again.. Does he love me or is there someone else he is falling for again? And here is where my heart lies, wanting him so much that it hurts not being with him, to where I don't know for sure if he feels the same way....
