So where to begin...at the beginning. Sounds reasonable to me. What ever happened to that vision I had for the future? It got back filed or something and I was left open to mistakes. So many mistakes, so little time. It's kind of a wonder I'm still here actually. I just survive I guess. Maybe that's it. Maybe just survival isn't good enough anymore. What was the dream? To do voice acting and stand up comedy, to write stories and poems to educate people and share my experiences with them. What have I done lately that works towards ANY of those dreams? Nothing. I've gotten all caught up in checking shit off the big "To Do List" before I shift this mortal coil.
I've gotten a lot of things crossed off, but for every one I do it seems another two present themselves worthy of a spot. I've climbed mountains, swam rivers, hiked trails that few people on this earth even know exist. I've checked off four of the top ten bands I need to see live in the last year and a half. I can lift 270 lbs off my chest more than 15 times in one sitting (dunno how many more times now as it's only getting higher and higher). I wrote a book and I haven't even made a serious effort to get it published. I've lived in 6 provinces and visited a 7th, spanning over 100 cities. So many things that just seem to be in my way now. How did I get bogged down with all this crap? When did it become more important to see Iron Maiden live than to get myself on tv?
Oops...that was supposed to be a secret, but I'll keep it and share it with you all. It has been my experience that secrets shared bring sad relief. I wrote that in a poem once, to a girl that I still love that I'll probably never see again. Is that just another excuse? It seems so to me, but I'm pretty critical of myself. I think it's time to re-invest in myself a little. Anyone know a good publisher?
