I'am less disappointed with myself than others are,
People expect things of me that I can not do,
The things I can do, no one believes.
Why must I always have to prove people wrong, why can't they accept what I say.
I'am a dreamer, yet I'm a realist, I know my limits,
I don't overstep my boundaries, if that makes me a coward then label me so.
Some of us have wild goals, we may never achieve, and others have simple goals.
I do not have goals, my goal is to live my life,
so many people have ambition, but its for all the wrong things, it might start off with good intentions, but often times it becomes a power they can't control, whether it is money or the means they go to make it, and the steps to take it, and the people they squash to make it.
If you have ambition good for you, but when you achieve your'e goal dont let it change you, be the one you were before you had the money and the power and the means to get most everyhing you want.
So no I'm not disapointed in me, I live my life by doing something I'm good at it something thats not too stressful and something that just pays enough.
Money truly does not buy happiness, you don't need to make tons to be happy, you don't need tons to raise a family either, and if you really want something then save for it you will appreciate it much more than if you were someone who could just buy anything.
It's funny, all the poor people I know have had longer marriages and been happier than most so called rich people.
I'm not saying don't work hard to get what you want, I'm just saying don't do something just because of money, so many so called professionals of the work place, or playing alimony to a wife that never loved them, only their money, or she loved the comfort of being stable financially, and when the love left, money was there and she took most of it with her too.
Most of our grandparents grew up with nothing got married in their teens worked hard for everything, didn't have the options that we have today to better ourselves, only goal they had was to find a job work hard, and not live beyond their means, the biggest thing most could buy was a tv, and they worked hard and saved money to buy that tv, and they appreciated it, and they invited their friends over who didn't have one yet to come watch it.
So you tell me how these grandparents of ours did this, some worked 3 jobs, but they were happy, they had their own hard times, they dealt with all the things we do now, arguments, cheating, alcholism and abuse, but most of our grandparents made their marriage work, or they made it last longer than some of us ever will.
So am I disapointed in myself no..
I believe in these ideals.
I had a ex fiance who's parents wanted me to join the Navy so I would make more money, and she could sit on her ass all day at home and do nothing, well I went to the recruiter they made me take college courses, and when I finished then they would take me, well I finished a semester and had 2 more classes to take and then we broke up.
I never finished and I didn't join the Navy, am I against it no, its just not something I wanted to do, I was gonna do it cause I was a fool of love.
Never again will I let someone try to change my life, so they can better their own, never again will I stray away from my ideals.
I believe in my ideals and when I find someone else who truly does, then maybe I can hope to have a marriage thats half as good as my grandparents.
I have no disappointment in myself, only anticipation of the future that is to come...
-Joshua
