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luvbug's blog: "1 am a woman"

created on 09/14/2006  |  http://fubar.com/1-am-a-woman/b777

Different Types of Sex

Different types of sex SOCIAL SECURITY SEX: Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special.I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know:I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!" LOUD SEX: A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets outthis ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completelynatural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," shecomplained, "It wakes me up!" QUIET SEX: Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when youhave an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're neverhome!" CONFOUNDED SEX: A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and tornfrom his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could givehim back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery,since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be$3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man wassure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talkit over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called hiswife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back intothe room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the twoof you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd ratherremodel the kitchen". WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX: A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel onthe day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When youdie, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - ColdAs Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you aheadstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'" WOMEN'S HUMOR: My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said,"This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out ofthe bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get backin.A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you thehappiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you
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