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Bubby's blog: "Depression"

created on 02/23/2007  |  http://fubar.com/depression/b58461

Insanity

Searching in the distant for serenity Desperatley needing security Ignited by emotions Contained by thoughts Scratching the surface of dispair Screaming from the inside Yet no one hears No one cares

A Miracle Too Late

A miracle too late Why do I strive to be a better man than my father? Because I feel alone to him, because I cannot be my brother.. We can talk and talk and never work things out All he seeks is praise from others, such a shame I want to shout The man that made me is so blind to see I am nothing like him, but I am me! Oh I tried for years just to get along But it always ends in a country sad song Most men would have been so proud of things I've done I'm a man's man, not a wimpy ass clown! Oh I love woman, beer, and yes even Nascar! But I put on a suit to work, Integrity I will go far! Parenting, yes I now a thing or two I've raised 6 not of my own, even purchased their shoes They had no dad, and I was a welcome sign Stood proud in front of them, covering their behinds That is how I go about my day Giving them loving, attention, showing them the right way Yes their are days, my kids aren't good enough for you But the time you spend with them is really way too few When your oldest son died, I also lost my brother I loved him probably more than you, he was like no other So I understand why it is our relationship will never get closer I am who I am dad, just looking for my father!
Farewell But Not Forgotten Losing you was bigger than I ever gathered Filled with lonliness and sleepless nights My heart is broken up and shattered I think of you with each passing minute Why did you have to go? There were times I regret So much more I had to show Our time was not long enough For it was my turn to be your brother I hope you enjoyed me as much as I did you I hope I wasn't a bother God I want you back I have missed you so much Brother you were too young to die I still need your gentle touch As you passed away I hope you knew That I was there The bond between us two brothers The love only we could share!

10-05-04

10-05-04 Splendid grass waving with the wind Soft silence over coming me The presence of a gift shake me Then the memory of your love surrounds me The happiness of the thought of you The craving to see you again That laugh that comforts darkness The unwillingness to ever let go Walk tall as you did here As you should in heaven Always know your loved and missed Always know you'll never be forgotten I love and miss you..........

I can't believe you left

| Text Only Version I can't Believe You Left Me I can't beleive you left me I always remember calming you the night before But still I held you for my love for you to see Your body shook, your temperature was 104. It's been several months, and I am still not over this My favorite person in the world is gone My heart is empty, for you I truly miss Everyone says, time will bring in a new dawn When they asked me "well there is nothing we can do" I knew you heard me tell them to not use Life Support Your heart raced, and I knew you didn't want to leave It fnally sank in with you, that it was time for you to go I regret that each and everyday Maybe that would have let you rested So we could call out to God, lower our heads and pray Now each day as I move on, I feel lonley, cheated and tested Brother what do I do now? There is no money No love No funny things for me to laugh at I can't believe you left me! I wasn't ready! Now I don't cry Until I see your grave You were my hero! You fought tough, and was so brave!
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