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What are you waiting for?
I have been dreaming about you for quite a while now. Dreams where you and I, are good friends again, and I pretend that everything is okay between us, when really, I can't shake the feeling that I shouldn't be talking to you and that if I keep hanging out with you, I'm going to go back to that version of myself that I hate so much now. So when I wake up, and slowly realize that this was just a dream, I can't feel anything but relief. You were my best, you had me in the palm of your hand, because for some reason you were the one to show me that I could exist outside of this lonely, dark, awkward character. I thought it was all because of you. You made me feel good, and wanted. I wanted and needed it to stay that way. Yes you managed to touch me, when I was untouchable, unreachable, and I opened up to you.But the moment I really needed you, you were already trying to win someone else over. From that point on, I was back to being, the wounded, awkward one, that made you look good , and confident around other guys. You used me. My name looked good in your list of friends , you didn't want me gone, but you didn't want me around either, you just wanted me to stay put. What I want you to know now, is that I see right throught you. You are the worst guy anyone could ever had, because you make people love you, you make them trust you, but you only ever care about what your life looks like, and you will abandon anyone that doesn't fit in this picture you have in your mind. So when I said that I don't hate you, that we go on seperate ways, and that I wish you the best, please know that I don't.
