Over 16,533,257 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
As a guy, dealing with your depression and women at the same time is enough to make you go off the deep end. Except for family, and even they can act the same way depending on the person, you will always go thru certain stages as you sink deeper into depression. Once you tell a female friend, you can expect to go thru these steps. Every time.
1) One-upsmanship. No matter how deep your depression, no matter how dark your world is, once you tell a woman that you're in trouble, she will immediately begin trying to outdo you. She will tell you how much worse she has had it, that she has had it so much longer, that she has been on more meds and seen more doctors. Sadly, most of the time, what this person has dealt with is not depression, but sadness, which is completely different.
Examples of dialogue you will hear:
"I've been depressed since I was x years old. I remember sitting in school thinking about slitting my wrists with child-proof scissors." (I've actually heard this from multiple people.)
"My doctor says my depression is the worst he has ever seen and had to put me on three different medications just to deal with it. I was hospitalized because I was taking so many meds." (First off, there are always multiple drugs involved, one to offset the side effects of the other, and if you were hospitalized because of medication intake, then your doctor is a quack.)
"I can't even get out of bed when my depression hits." (Remember this one. It's going to come up later.)
2) The Cure. Once you finally give in and let them believe that their case of the mopies is the black death compared to your clinical depression, they will declare that you are "fixable" and begin trying to do just that. This will involve joking, teasing, flirting depending upon the relationship and "tough love".
Examples of dialogue you will hear: "You don't need therapy. You just need a backrub from a cute girl. (wink wink)" (Because that apparently is where you store your feelings.)
"Mr. Grumpy is having a grumpy day, aren't you, Mr. Grumpy?" (This one WILL get you beaten or killed.)
"Do I need to come over there and pull you out of bed? Because I will." (Because they can stay in bed when they're depressed, but you cannot. I told you it would come back. Also, try it. End result: friendship terminated.)
"Come on. Cheer up. I'll blow you!" (Yeah. This one, I say go with it. Even if it doesn't help your mood, and it probably will, you'd still be getting some action and doesn't require you to do a thing. You're just lying there anyway.)
3) Denial. If you do not give in to their "cure", they will assume that you are not really depressed and instead, just being a jerk. They will try to convince you that you are just being difficult and stubborn, as opposed to actually ill.
Examples of dialogue you will hear:
"I don't think you're depressed. I think you're just an asshole." (I can be both, fucker.)
"If you won't cheer up for tits, then you're not depressed, you're gay." (I can be both, fucker.)
"You're not even trying to feel better." (NEVER use this line on someone who is depressed. You will never come back from that level of ignorance or assholery.)
4) Victimization. You are now the aggressor. She is now the victim. Don't try to turn it around. You will only become the bigger asshole, she the bigger victim. This is a hole you can not crawl out of. The only way to end it is to push her away, which, of course, is what she wants, because it makes you an asshole and her the victim. Are you getting a sense of how this works yet? This is the point of no return. You can not get back after this point until your depression is over and you have totally and completely appeased her bruised ego.
Examples of dialogue you will hear:
"All I was trying to do is help. You don't have to be such a dick." (Obviously you did, or she would have stopped long ago.)
"You're always trying to hurt me."
"Keep pushing me away and I won't ever come back." (At this point, that would be welcome. You are NOT helping.)
5) Giving up. The best thing they could do, and should have done long ago, but now their egos are hurt and they cannot go quietly into the night, waiting for you to come back, without one (or two) last barb(s).
Examples of dialogue you will hear:
"I can't deal with this. Call me if you ever decide to stop being a dick."
"Fine. Wallow in self pity. Just don't say I didn't try to help."
"Push me away. There are plenty of guys I talk to who wouldn't do that to me."
"I fucked your brother." (Ok, that one is uncommon, but it would explain a lot. But mostly, I just wanted to see if you were still with me here.)
Things may not play out exactly how I've put them here, but all the elements will be there. Every time. And in the end, things will culminate with them blocking you on social media, severing communication, fucking your brother, or some other drastic action that will make it possible to reconnect only by getting on your goddamned knees once you're feeling better and grovelling like hell because you're such a horrible cunt for suffering from depression. Just know that you're not alone. All guys with depression go thru this, and afterwards, things will get better. But while you are under, you go ahead and surf that black cloud. Fuck those people who try to make a bad thing worse. And for the love of god, try to get your hands on some titties. THEY are the only true wonder drug. Peace.
