As I sit here with so many things running around in my head, With noone caring how I feel. As I wonder am I really truely loved by the one who says everyday and night the he loves me?? As I sit here days and nights with the man that feel is the one or at least can be if we try hard enough. But if its true love do we have to try? Shouldn't it just come as it is? But will that day come that we have to be without each other? And maybe by or not by choice. But even as I hope it don't have to come down to leaving just by something bad happening or by us saying we give up on each other and say our goodbyes. But there has been times that one of us would give up on one, But the other wouldn't or couldn't let go. We would fight for the other ones love. Untill they gave in and came back. There was one time that someone said to me ''Let Him Go''. But its not that easy, Or is it? But like I said I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes writing this and so many things I feel that I have to worry about. But the thing that won't go away is I'm with the man that I should be happy with and that he should be happy with me. ?Right? But I know just as well as he does when we sit beside each other or even when we are laying in our bed together, I wonder is its all lies. I sometimes think to myself, Am I the one hes thinking about? Is it really me he wants to be loving and sayin those 3 words too? I mean I truely believed it at times before. But now its like we both hate more then we love. He starts fights with me, the same as I do, but its over and over again. All I want is to be the women that he care for and love so much that hes blinded but every other girls. I want him to be so happy with me and Tell everyone that I'm the one he has been waiting for. I want to know, That he loves me so much that he don't care who say what about us or just about me. I want to feel like I did once before that I could never be the wronge for him or with him. I want to feel once again that my past is my past and he has nothing to do with it. I want to know that he cares for me cause of who I am, Not what he wants me to be. I just want him to show that YES he really does love me. Why, do I have to be the bad one in everyone eyes? Why, Do I have to be the one that does and says all the bad things? Why, Do I have feel like everyone hates me? Why, Do I have to feel all the hate inside? I know I love him there is not a doubt in my mind but how can I tell if he loves me like he says he does? Why do I feel there is something missing?
