You know it's time to go home when...
1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2. You mistake a police car from a cab and shout obscenities when it
doesn't stop for you.
3. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the
ladies loo because you tried twice and ended up on the floor on your bum.
And it was wet.
4. You keep dancing into people and you've fallen off the podium
twice.
5. You've been flashing your boobs at passers by.
6. Creme De Menthe, Advocaat or Grenadine suddenly seem to be viable
drink options.
7. You start crying.
8. You can't stop.
9. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
10. The urge to take all your clothes off, stand on a table and singing
"Relight My Fire" become strangely overwhelming.
11. You've forgotten where you live.
12. You seem to be seeing more of the toilet bowl than the dance floor.
13. You notice that there's vomit on your dress and suspect that it's
yours.
14. You've started to sound like The Godfather from the 60 fags you've
smoked.
15. You keep missing your mouth with your drink.
16. You tell your worst enemy that you've always loved her really.
17. The stairs take on the appearance of an Alton Towers theme slide.
18. You start every conversation with,"Don't take this the wrong way
but..."
19. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
20. You're sitting on the floor. On your own.
21. You rediscover your childhood gymnastic skills.
22. You realise why you gave up gymnastics.
23. You drop your burger on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.
24. The entire club has seen your pants.
25. Most of them against their will.
ROLL ON CHRISTMAS!!!
