It's Christmas time in Michigan again, and the drunks are sure to show themselfs again for our ammusement. Last year I had the pleasure of watching a 40 year old man run around his car in the middle of the freeway. He had his pants down to his ankles, and was demanding the female Trooper on the scene take his breathalyzer. Two weeks later we had a 26 year old female wandering a neighborhood wearing a santa hat. She asked me to stuff her stocking, then jumped on the hood of my patrol car and showed me the way. My last, but not only fond memory from the jolly season last year involved a 24 year old male I found passed out in a finer restaurant's bathroom. This is nomally not too unusual, but this guy passed out giving himself a reach around. He may have been leading up to a dirty sanchez, but the alcohol may have affected his abilities.
So in short if you are going to drink this holiday season, please ensure that you pass out with you finger out of your ass, if you plan on running around asking me to fill your stocking shave the muff bomb and if you are going to demand a female Trooper to take your breathalyzer, make sure her mace is empty first.
Happy Holidays
