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Customer Service

Checker Chronicles: Updated Updates are on the bottom: If you do these things when you come through my line, I will stab you in the eye <333. 1) Dont leave your cart at my register when youre done shopping. Nothing pisses me off more than having to move it out the way when I have a line, were busy and you walk right by the cart corral to get to your car. Ugh. Lazy bastards. My favorite? My oh so subtle, "Do you need your cart?" And the response, "No, Im ok." People like that, make me see red. 2) Paper in Plastic. Thats gotta be the most retarded thing Ive ever heard of. Do you REALLY need both? Ummm... no. I dont think so. You dont hear us asking, "Would you like paper, plastic or paper IN plastic" do ya?! Its a waste and actually kind of pointless and if you persist, I will make your bag heavy as hell... especially since you have twice the strength. Got it? 3) Transactions. If youre paying with cash, hand it to me. Dont put it on the belt. Dont throw a wad of cash at me. Im not a stripper nor am I your bitch. If you insist on writing a check for your two dollar purchase, could ya maybe... oh I dunno, balance your checkbook LATER and AFTER you hand me the check?! And as far as credit/visa transactions go?! I politely tell everyone all day everyday, "Dont forget to PRESS debit or credit before you slide your card" and yet, no one ever seems to listen. I especially love the ones who TELL me debit and slide their card and then proceed to tell me that theres something wrong with my machine. lol. Dumbasses I tell ya. 4) Carry outs for the most part are unncessary. Unless you just dropped mad cash and have hella shit, are pregnant or really old, ya dont need one. You had no problem hauling your shit around the store, why cant you take it out to your car? I swear sometimes, if people had the option of taking someone home to unload their groceries and put them away- they would. 5) Finally, main pet peeve is ignorance. Stupidity in general pisses me off. Here are a few examples of people who should get kicked in the head <3 Starter Check- If youve ever opened up a checking account, ya know that they give you these lame ass blank checks to carry around until you get the ones you can actually use? Yeah well, we dont take them. So I tell this broad that I cant take her starter check because theres no way to verify that its hers and ya know what she says?! "What if I show you some Id?!" Politics- Today, this guy who reeked of I dunno what comes through my line and while Im ringing his things up says to me, "Dick Cheney is an asshole". My response? "Thatsa nice" lol And he looks at me and says, "Well, dont you have a mind, an opinon, something to say? What do you think?" To which I answered, "I think you should pay the 21.31 so you can take your things and continue on." :) Awww- arent I sweet?! lol Old Man- This is kinda funny. This old man and by old, I mean like decrepit old man comes through my line and this cute lil blonde bagger named Rachel bags his can of baked beans and he looks at her and goes, "Har har, maybe I will take a carry out. Shes really cute." To which I responded with, "Eeew- hes like 100." I want to watch- Dont ask me to wait until youve unloaded your cart before I do anything so you can watch the prices. Dude- you get a receipt right? I dont have time to stand there twiddling my thumbs while you struggle to lift your gallon of milk onto the belt. Occasionally I get this lady who makes me do that all the time and it drives me batty. Especially if its the weekend. More to come later. Shoplifters- NOTHING pisses me off more than being duped by a shoplifter. Fucking good for nothings. This guy came through my line the other day to return some expensive lotion that he said got accidentally charged to him but didnt have a reciept. And since for the most part, everyone who shops at the Market are honest, I gave him a refund. THEN, the bastard comes through AGAIN yesterday with the SAME item and SAME story just through another cashier. I was PISSED when I saw him again. I called management and told them what was going on only to have them "Give him the benefit of the doubt". I swear on everything that if and when I see that guy again and he tries to pull the same shit that I will kick him in the face! Whats the date- Im working the express line when this guy comes through and proceeds to write a check for his purchases and asks me whether the date is September 4 to which I answer yes. He pauses and then asks me again if today is the fourth to which I answer all exasperated yes. He then signs his name and asks me yet again if today is the fourth to which I said YES. LOL and he looks at me and says, "You dont have to yell." Heh. I about pissed myself I started laughing so hard. People are certainly funny. January 7, 2007 Who the hell buys a "People" Magazine and insists that they want a big paper bag to put it in? Seriously? And if you choose to go the express lane and it clearly states 10 items or less give or take one or two.... that doesnt mean just because you have 10 of the same items that it counts as one. Dumbasses. Ok, so Im ringing someone up when I overhear the next person in line complain to their wife/gf that we were out of Snoqualmie Falls Coconut ice cream and how he was really disappointed about that. Well when it was their turn I said, "If you would like, I could call grocery and see if we have anymore of that flavor in stock in the back..." and you know what he says to me?! He says, "No, Im ok but thanks for listening to our conversation...." and just stands there giving me a dirty look. Are you fucking kidding me?! This one was a little over a month ago but it sticks out in my head. A women comes through with four cans of beans that ring up at 2/88. I give her the total and she says, "You charged me too much! Theyre supposed to be 2/1.00!" I told her that theyre 2/88 and that they were cheaper this way and she shoves the cans back over the counter towards me and says, "Then I dont want them" and walks away. Umm... what?! LOL Oh, and one more thing... NEVER, EVER touch me. Especially if you dont know me. What makes you think its ok to reach out and run your fingers through my hair telling me how pretty it is. Youre a customer. Im helping you. Theres a reason theres a counter between us. Mmkay? And listen up shithead... when you walk up and I say hi and ask you how youre doing? I DO NOT want to hear you say, "paper." Give me the courtesy of a response and then feel free to ignore me. Sheesh! Cellphones: If your phone call is that important, maybe you shouldnt get in line while still talking. Ignoring me when I acknowlege your presence, not responding to my question about what kind of bag youd like and either handing me your credit card or giving me the hand so as not to interrupt your phone call...will make me smash your produce and oh, I dunno make your bag.. heavier than heck. Dont piss me off or act like a total moron and I wont treat you like one. So this woman comes through while talking on her phone, ignores me... throws a twenty at me for her purchases and holds up her hand when I ask what kind of bag she would like and proceeds to have her conversation.I finish helping her and move onto the next customer when she hangs up her phone to INTERRUPT me to ask me where the nearest restroom, mailbox and liquor store was. Are you freaking serious?! When you had my undivided attention you wouldnt give me the time of day... when Im busy with someone else... you wanna ask me stuff?! AURGH! Funny stuff: A courtesy clerk was bagging for me when he asked me whether I could speak chinese... I looked at him and said, "No.... but I can speak Korean." lol and made fun of him for the rest of the day lol. This lady comes through and is all dressed to the nines... diamonds dripping off her wrist... you can practically smell the money on her and asks me if I know when Larrys Market will open again. Says its been bought out by some asians and has asian advertisements all over for it and was wondering if I could translate them for her. Seriously? Seriously?! Theres an overweight older woman with nappy brown hair that shops at the store every other day. Anyways, she comes through and even though Im wearing a name tag that says Grace, asks me whether my name is Pam. I said, "No, its Grace" and she goes, "Oh, well do you have a friend named Pam?" to which I respond, "Yes, but I doubt you know her since she lives in Tacoma." to which she responds with, "Oh... well do you have a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD SON that works here?! Fourteen?! What?! Im 27! Do I look old enough to have a FOURTEEN year old son?! And since when do FOURTEEN year olds get to work anyways? Ok, short story. A check was reported stolen by the owner. That check came through my line and I denied it. So, the lady whose check it was, came into the store today to personally thank me. Awww. That actually made me feel pretty good Yeah! See? I DO like some of them heh. Lemme ask you a question: Whats 10 x 11? LOL. This lady comes through my line yapping on her cell phone the whole time, not giving me the time of day to purchase 10 bulk white eggs at 11 cents a piece. So I ring her up and tell her, "1.10 please." And ya know what she says to me?! "Oh hell no, I know you didnt charge me tax on eggs!" LOL. Coupons are misleading: Right now our store is doing a promotion where you get a free pizza when you spend 25 dollars on your total purchase. HOWEVER in bold black letters it says... coupon valid FROM Jan 18th-25th. Ya know how many people came through my line with a coupon and pizza today?! Its a dayum shame how many people in Seattle cant read lol. Apparently, I steal. Some lady came through my line the other day and then called the store to blame me for stealing her credit card numbers and going on a shopping spree. To a Safeway. In Woodinville. Here are some reasons why she is completely ridiculous and wrong: 1- I never touched her card. She did the transaction herself yet somehow I managed to look and memorize all 16 numbers PLUS expiration dates for the two seconds she had it out to swipe it in the machine. She even SAID I never touched her card. 2- I was working when it was used at Safeway. 3- Where the fuck is Woodinville? 4- You better dayum well believe if I go through all the trouble of stealing someones credit card numbers that I sure as hell wouldnt spend the money on groceries. Id go buy that coach purse Ive been coveting. Thats right bitches, I did NOT steal your card number. 5- I worked until 6:30 that day. The card was used at 6:45. I have got to be the worlds fastest fucken driver to have gone from Shoreline to Woodinville, do my shopping AND check out in 15 minutes. LOL. I hate people. Grr. April 2, 2007 Ugly Fruit: I was ringing this guy up when this girl gets in line behind him and sets her soda down at the very end where the belt doesnt move and puts her ugli fruit *its an actualy fruit name lol* on the belt when the guy stops what hes doing, picks up her fruit and chucks it down the belt at her where it hits her drink and knocks it on the floor and makes this huge mess! He turns to her and says, "I wasnt done unloading my cart. You need to wait your turn." Can you believe that shit?! I was so fucking shocked. Stunned even that I, ME- someone who ALWAYS has something to say didnt know what to do or say. Seriously, I just stood there for a minute like a dumbass lol and then when I got my wits about me told the guy that all he needed to do was put a bar between his things and hers and that what he did was unnessecary and he had the nerve to be mad at me! Told ME not to be snippy. LOL. OMG. Seriously?! But the thing that kills me lol is that he didnt even apologize to her. Not once. Just continued to unload his cart like nothing had happened. LMAO! Paper! Ok, so Im in register 8 which is right in front of the express lane where Im helping someone. After ringing the guy up, I ask him what kind of bag he would like and before he could even answer me his friend who was in the express lane behind me runs up on me and screams, "Paper! He wants paper!" in my ear causing me to jump and my heart beat crazy fast. He scared the living crap out of me lol. I was so focused on my customer, I honestly was not expecting someone to come at me from behind like that lol. And to add insult to injury after the guy yells in my ear and Im standing there clutching my chest, he fucking PATS me on the head and says to lighten up. He was just playing around. Thank God, my vacation started at 7:01 today.
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