OK MY FRIENDS ... i came across a page that was folded up among my books and i BELIVE and feel that this will help not only myself but hopefully some of you as well...
the following is a list like a check list of many "ATTITUDES AND BEAHVIORS" that either are or are not present in ones own life and then many relationships we all have.. wether its a friendship, and intimate relationship , parent...
print this off and sit and either check things off as u realize this different little things... hope this helps you all.
HOW MANY OF THE FOLLOWING ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS ARE PRESENT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS???
1. COMMUNICATION is open and SPONTANIOUS (including LISTENING)
2. RULES/BOUNDRIES are clear and explicit, yet allows flexibility
3. INDIVIDUALITY, FREEDOM, and PERSONAL IDENITY is ENHANCED!!!!
4. Each enjoys doing things for SELF, as well as for the OTHER
5. PLAY , HUMOR, and HAVING FUN is common place
6. Each does not attempt to "FIX" or control the other
7. ACCEPTANCE of sel and other (for REAL selves)
8. ASSERTIVENESS: feelings and needs are expressed
9. HUMILITY: able to let go of need to "BE RIGHT"
10.. SELF-CONFIDENCE and SECURITY in own worth
11. CONFLICT is faced directly and resolved
12. OPENNESS to constructive feedback
13. EACH is trustful of the other
14. BALANCE of giving and recieving
15. NEGOTIATIONS are fair and democratic
16. TOLERANCE: forgiveness of self and others
17. Mistakes are accepted and LEARNED from
18. WILLINGNESS TO TAKE RISKS AND BE VULNERABLE!!!!!!!!!!!
19. other meaningfull relationships and interests exsist
20. EACh can enjoy being ALONE and PRIVACY is respected!
21. PERSONAL GROWTH, CHANGE and EXPLORATION is encouraged
22. CONTINUITY and CONSISTENCY is present in the Commitment
23. BALANCE of oneness (closeness) and SEPERATION from each other
24. RESPONSIBILITY for own behaviors and happiness (NOT BLAMING OTHER).
all comments are welcomed and encouraged on this blog and oters please!